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Complications with my being bigender in life

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by SketchyKazu22, Jan 25, 2016.

  1. SketchyKazu22

    Regular Member

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    So to start off, hello EC. Kinda new here.

    I wasn't really sure where to put this since it's more about me introducing myself, maybe getting some advice, not sure what I hope to get out this except maybe venting.
    (Also, my name is Chris... Or Kate, your choice, I'm not one to be bothered by that too much)
    Well, first off, as my title proclaims, yeah, bigender, for those of you who are, or similar to being bigender... Boy it's a rough time figuring out what's going on those first couple years of uncertainty, isnt it?
    I've kinda tagged myself as bigender (though titles never do fully fit forever) for the past 4-5 years now, it developed from an interest in being a girl due to exposure of the idea thanks to various media and here I am years later with what I feel is a pretty female second self.
    I prefer keeping her more around online though, due my natural body size and my tendency to really be a guy when around normally (I'm even keeping a short beard). Don't get me wrong, the idea of being able to present myself as more feminine/cute would be great, but again, I'm kinda built like a football player lol.

    Other than that factor though I've started figuring things out internally pretty well, kind of. My female half is straight, and I'm straight (male)... So in a sense I'm bigender? Kind of? It makes even the thought of dating super complicated though, in the short term sure that's fine but unless I meet a biologically female bigender girl that I get along with somehow, I don't see myself actually being able to pull off many long term relationships... And I'm the long term type.
    Coming out isn't something I feel like I see myself doing either. As a bigender it's not as simple as just wanting to be a girl. And explaining my particular style of sexuality would just confuse anyone, or at least probably get me misunderstood. I don't really feel like I'd change much openly irl anyway if I opened up about it, I feel like it'd just make people I'm close to feel confused how to feel about me.

    So in short I guess I'm a straight nerdy big built dude who when I don't have to think about my body (or see it, like when I'm looking at a screen lol), sometimes becomes my girl half who really just wants to be a cute/pretty nerdy straight girl instead. Too stubborn to be open about it, really just venting to a new scary community here lol. Who knows, maybe someone else out there is like me?



    Side note: though this really is just something I think about sometimes, I feel like I'm actually transgender but stay in the bigender spectrum because I'm okay with being a guy enough that I'd rather just cope like that. I'm really not someone who would transition, not considering the way I view my girl self vs how different my guy self is physically. Footballplayer like.
    Though then again, could just be too lazy to commit or thinking too much about all this lol.
     
    #1 SketchyKazu22, Jan 25, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2016
  2. H20

    H20
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    First of all, good for you! It's great to know you feel comfortable with yourself since not many people do. And it's okay to vent (I do that a lot too especially when I'm writing). Whether you're bigender or transgender, it doesn't mean you have to come out if you don't want to, especially if you are comfortable with being your second half alone. Sometimes it's great to just have personal secrets of yourself, guilty pleasures and whatnot. And the same with transitioning - it's not for everyone, and that includes medically and socially. Some people just don't like it or are too lazy to commit to it if they're not experiencing severe dysphoria or if they're happy with life as it is. So kudos to you.
     
  3. Identityunknown

    Regular Member

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    A few people
    Being bigender is beyond confusing, I'm trying to figure it out myself and I've had most of my life to think about it
     
  4. anthracite

    Regular Member

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    So if you don't want to transition maybe give your girl half some space. A girl day with makeup and painted nails or maybe look into cosplay.