TL;DR: Went from assumed straight, to thinking I was an aromantic heterosexual after realizing I'm not romantically attracted to girls, long before even considering the possibility of liking guys, and then realizing I'm only romantically attracted to guys, but my actual sexual orientation still feels impossible to pin down, feels like it changes every five minutes, and I can't tell at any one moment if I like girls, guys, both, or nobody. A lot of people here say that the split attraction model isn't real and doesn't have any research nor evidence to back it up, which I hope is true, because in that case I'm simply gay, but if it's real, I could be a homoromantic heterosexual or some other horrible sounding, unfulfillable orientation. Hi! First of all, I'm a male sophomore in high school, and this is my first post here. Actually, it's the first time I've talked about the possibility of me being anything other than straight anywhere other than in my own head. To any mods that might care, sorry about putting my age at 25, it's just a habit I have to make myself an adult while signing up anywhere online, and by the time I realized that it didn't matter if I was 13 or 90 here, it was to late to change it. Second of all, as you already know by know, I'm completely confused, things haven't been getting any clearer, and I really don't know where to turn for advice. Just for some background, I never thought about girls at all, period, until my only two friends at the time-- and throughout the rest of elementary school-- started talking about them constantly beginning in the fifth grade, and talking about them as if getting with one was the ultimate goal of the life of any male human being. We'd always been the strange, insecure outcasts that nobody wanted anything to do with, so for one of us to be liked by a girl would've really meant something, even if at that age it didn't mean anything. Then, I started to think about girls all the time, namely about conquering them as trophies, ego boosts, and proof to the world that I was cool and valuable. I never once thought about how much I'd love to be with a girl, how much I'd love to kiss one or date one, but only how much better it would make me feel about myself. I took on my friends' sad and misguided ideas about girls just to be part of the group, and since my parents also went through a disastrous divorce when I was seven that I took as a cautionary tale about commitment and especially marriage, my image of romance going into middle school was severely broken. Not to long after this point, I hit puberty hard and become obsessed with straight porn, going straight towards female domination genres like femdom, JOI, and taboo situations such as stepmom or teacher/student porn for some reason. I'm past that now. Then, to make a long story short, I spent two straight years from the seventh grade to the ninth in six back-to-back straight relationships, with the first being a year long, and the others rapidly declining in length. I was the one to get asked out each time, and each time I just replied "yeah, okay" or any other way to convey "sure, whatever man." I never particularly desired to be more than friends with any of the girls I knew, but once they asked me out, I didn't see any reason why not to say yes, and each time, I confused the MASSIVE ego-boost of having a girlfriend, and to a lesser extent, maybe moderate at best sexual attraction with romantic attraction. I emotionlessly took literally whoever threw themselves my way, and I kept them for however long they'd stay, just as long as I could say I have a girlfriend, because it made me feel better about myself. I played more of a caring best friend role than anything, and I was completely fine with not even having kissed my first girlfriend for the first eight months of our relationship, and when we did, it was an accident. I went through the motions of four more relationships, and by the end of the fifth one, I started thinking that I didn't actually want to be with these girls. I despised the idea of competing and fighting with other guys for girls who wouldn't in a million years do the same for me, even though that wasn't anything I ever had to go through, and I despised the idea of being the dominant protector in the relationship, and eventually, the provider. I wanted somebody to do that for me, or at least have the roles be equal. Looking back, I had quite a few gay thoughts and attractions, and even a whole week in seventh grade when I had a gay revelation that I suppressed so hard for the sake of my relationship that I almost forgot about it. But anyways, realizing my complete and utter lack of romantic attraction for girls, I labeled myself an aromantic heterosexual for about half a year, until some bi-curiosity and then rapid flip-flopping between homosexuality and heterosexuality set in, and I realized that I was only romantically attracted to guys with my first male crushes. They weren't super strong, but I instantly and finally understood what everyone was talking about when they talked about romance and how it feels, and in a way that I know I'll never feel for girls. The issue is, though, that I'm solidly homoromantic, but my sexuality is all over the place, and I swear to god it changes every five minutes. I've seen a lot of people say here that the split attraction model has no evidence and isn't real, and I really hope that's true, because I'd rather be a homoromantic homosexual, sure of what I am, instead of riding the bi cycle with the added complication of strict homoromanticism until the end of time. Anyway, what do you guys think? The last few months have been extremely confusing, and at this point, I really just want to get to the answer of it all, and find out what I really am. Thanks in advance!