I don't have any friends. Like at all. I've never felt like I've ever had a real friend and since I've moved last year I've made no new friends and lost the ones I already had. My old friends are always "too busy" now and never reach out. I'm 14 and just want a friend. I feel more comfortable talking to adults, in fact, the only person I talked to all year at school was my art teacher. But since its summer I cant talk to him. I feel so alone. I hate going through my transition alone and just want someone to talk to. Its been a year since I moved and people are just telling me that it takes time to make friends. Well, it been a year. I don't know what to do. I'm so lonely. I don't get along with kids my age. I don't like a lot of things there in to and I have yet to meet someone with the same interests. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts and self-harm for awhile now and when I had my teacher there for me it was easier to deal with. But now I have no one to talk to. I use youth lines, I'm waiting on yet another social worker and therapist, but I just want a friend. Not so that I can talk to them about my problems but just to spend time with someone and laugh and be a teenager. I also have anxiety so talking to people is hard. I'm so lonely. I cant take it anymore.
Hey. I was in the same situation as you and I learned that the reason I didn't have any friends was because I expected them to come to me. If you don't reach out for anybody other than on just the internet, then it's kind of hard for anybody to reach out to you. I know you find it hard, but trust me, just starting a small conversation with someone new can bring you to great places. When I started reaching out to people, they started reaching back. It started with a small conversation, then another, and then slowly a friendship sparked... I hope that somehow these words help you start more relationships. And don't ever forget that if a relationship goes bad, it's not the end of the world. You HAVE to keep trying to talk to people or else you won't get anywhere. Don't give up.
I do reach out to people and have been in clubs but I'm still unable to make friends. Thanks for the reply.
As someone who is 30, I find making and keeping friends to be extremely difficult, but it is possible. It's just something you have to be Persistent on. Try not to get too discouraged. There is always someone out there who is in the same position as you wanting a friend. My one regret in my college years was not joining an LGBTQ group (I know you are a teen, but when I was a teen being non-queer was bad). Maybe, hopefully, come the new school year you can join a group like that? Meet new people there. Reach out to someone sitting alone. Best of luck to you.
Thank you for your reply. I am in an LGBTQ group at school but it's not really a good group. I'm starting an art club with my art teacher next year so maybe Ill meet people then.
I struggle with anxiety and depression, so I totally get it. In the past I've only really had about one friend at a time, and none of them were real friends. They would bully me, bossing me around and slapping me like I was an animal. Halfway grade nine, I got in a huge fight with a girl from my previous school that hated me for no reason. She sent death threats, and her friend got involved and sent a very long and extremely vulgar message to me about how she would find me, she and her friends would jump me and sexually assault me, things like that. I was homeschooled before grade eight, so of course, my current "friend" group at the time took her side, as they all knew one another since elementary school and I was "that kid they included just because". I didn't have a place to sit at lunch anymore, and my anxiety prevented me from talking to other people, god FORBID eating with other people (I get terrible anxiety about eating in public). So I sat alone in the hall for almost the rest of the year, eating by myself. I isolated myself at school and outside of school, and I had no friends. But I turned it around. You see, I'm an avid theatre geek. I've been doing musicals and plays since I was eight, I've met a lot of people there. For me, theatre is a relaxed environment where it's easy to talk to people, especially since the highest number of people in one program would be about 25. I know I know, 25 seems like a lot, but I've done smaller shows where there was about 14-15 of us. That sounds like a lot too, but when you see a bunch of awkward, friendly people sitting in a circle involving you in conversation, 15 isn't much at all. Out of those 15 I got really close to about 5. Those 5 might be the kinds of friends you are looking for, but with my depression it was extremely hard to keep up with them, especially since the majority of them are neurotypical. They always wanted to get of the house and do stuff, and go places, which is great and all, but it was too much for me personally. They were also quite energetic, and mentally (sometimes physically) drained me. So. Fast. I got really close to one of the girls and we've been best friends for over a year now. She struggles with mental health too, anxiety in particular (she is basically not going to school at all). I can always have deep conversations with her, and she's saved me a lot of times, if you know what I mean. You just have to find a place where you feel really comfortable, and even though it's hard (I know) try to make conversation. If you find a small group of people to talk to regularly they will probably make a group chat or something! Or say hey, we should hang out sometime! It takes time, I know. My first non-abusive friends and I found one another when I was barely 14.
