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Coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lautaro, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. Lautaro

    Regular Member

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    So I came out to my mom almost a month ago. She's a really closed minded person. At first she told me she would always love me and accept me for who I am, but after I told her that I wanted to transition she changed. She started telling me that nobody would love "a woman without breasts but a vagina", that I was being ridiculous for wanting to be a man while liking boys (she doesn't know that I'm pansexual), that if I transitioned we would move to another town were nobody knows her. I want, I NEED to transition, but thinking about making her ashamed of me or the idea of she not loving me anymore if I do it really scares me. I only care about my parents, and if I lose them I don't know what would I do. I don't really know what to do anymore, I hate myself and this body, but I can't do this to her...
     
  2. Lia444

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    I’m not sure I can really help but I think we all look up to our parents and want to make them proud etc but at the end of the day you have your own life and you need to live it how you want and if you feel you are in the wrong body and want to transition then that is the decision you need to make and no one else. Have you spoken to friends or a therapist about wanting to transition etc have you tried explaining to your mum how you feel re your body etc it might be that she doesn’t understand so instinctively is against it?
     
  3. Lautaro

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    Thank you for your answer. As for your questions, I told my friends about it and are really supportive. I also explained -or try to- everything to my mother but she just says that she doesn't want to hear anything about it and that she will never change and understand or accept it. I told my therapist about it but for some reasons stopped going and I'm currently waiting for a psychologist and planning to tell him/her about it
     
  4. Lia444

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    Unfortunately we can’t choose our parents. She might just need time. You do have friends though so have a support system. At the end of the day it’s your decision and you shouldn’t not do it because your mother doesn’t want you to. I doubt any parent wants their child to transition. Do you have trans friends you can talk to too?
     
  5. Lautaro

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    I know that, it's just something difficult to do thinking that I'm hurting her. I don't have trans friends, I tried to reach out to the local group but they are like a close circle