If you knew in advance that you would remain single and would never have a successful relationship but short lived meaningless moments would you still come out? I came out and feel such a relief and a freedom being honest. All that internal stress and self loathing and noise has been gradually alleviated. However I'm single and worry that I'll never find a suitable person. Most people I like are either intellectually unstimulating, married or non-empathic unpleasant people. Therefore I do feel short changed sometimes and question the pay off. At bottom I know that I did the right thing for me and couldn't have lived an inauthentic life with the pressure I felt. I am curious though to know - if you somehow could know in advance that no relationship would ever materialize would you still come out? I live in hope that the right man will come about and that I still have to grow myself some more. But some days are hard and my resilience falters.
To answer your question, yes, I would still come out even if I knew in advance that I wouldn’t be in a relationship. I can now live my live authentically and be honest to people about who I am. If I knew the guy I’ve been dating the past 2 years would’ve ended so poorly, I would not have dated him in the first place. With that said, it’s been such a blast being with someone that you’re in love with. Had it not been for this relationship, I wouldn’t know what I was missing, what I look for in a partner, and what to improve on for my next relationship. Don’t depend your coming out experience based on the likelihood of a relationship; those are two separate things.
Hell yes. Relationships are not the end goal of life. Hard to believe, but oh so true. Being yourself fully allows you to dedicate your time to things you want to do, it allows you to meet friends and connect with them deeply, it allows you to experience life in ways that I wouldn't have been able to if I was in the closet. My advice is to focus on getting amazing friends. While I don't think that you will be single forever (statistically its just hard to say you would) then amazing friends will make live wonderful. Specially a good group of gay friends.
Yeah, I'm pretty deeply a relationship sort of guy and yet even I don't really understand what the connection would be between them. I can't honestly say I understand what it would be like to feel like you were never going to be with anyone, but I can say I came out when I wasn't in a relationship and the first people I came out to (some twenty-five years ago) were my parents. I certainly wasn't doing it to get a date...
Yes, I came out to everyone (except for my parents and boyfriend, they already knew) while in a relationship with a boyfriend. I was tired of hiding and lying and I wanted to be myself.
