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Coming Out Tomorrow?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kayaz, Oct 25, 2017.

  1. kayaz

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    I'm having a meeting with one of my school counselor tomorrow. I plan to come out as non-binary and asexual tomorrow. I really need support and I feel like it's a thing i need to do. I'm just worried that I'm going to chicken out and my anxiety is acting up.
    Any words of advice?
    Wish me luck!
     
    #1 kayaz, Oct 25, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
  2. Pixo

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    Literally was thinking along the same lines. I was seriously considering coming out as gay tomorrow at school. I've told five friends and I think I'm ready to tell everyone. I guess my advice to you is that it's OK to chicken out, you may just not be ready yet, but either way is fine, it's all up to you :slight_smile:
     
  3. jam93

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    My advice: if you're really ready to come out, don't let anxiety keep you in the closet. I know how scary it can be. The day I came out to most of my friends I woke up at four in the morning, relized what day it was, and almost shit myself (this is not an exageration, I litteraly had to sprint to the bathroom). Coming out is not easy, especially with anxiety, but it can be done, and if the person you come out to is someone who will support you, it should be done. That being said, Pixo is right. There's no shame in chickening out if your not ready. There's no shane in putting it off till you feal more confortable or more confident. Comming out is a very personal thing, and should be done at a pace that feels right to you.
     
  4. jam93

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    Oh, and good luck, to both of you. I hope things go well, whatever you decide.
     
  5. Zakku

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    I wish you both the best of luck! Remember, dont be afraid to tell anyone who you are, Life is to short for that.
     
  6. kayaz

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    @Pixo How did it go?
     
  7. ladykiki

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    Hi! I also have anxiety, so I feel your pain. It took me a few years to actually tell the first person after I was comfortable with being gay, then it took a year to muster the courage to tell my parents. My anxiety has all sorts of thoughts running through my head, and I won't lie, it was terrifying. HOWEVER once I started my 'speech' (I always started 'I've got something to tell you, and it's not a bad thing...') and took a deep breath, the words came tumbling out, then I'd hold my breath and wait for their reaction, and never had a bad one. I don't know how many times I was told I was brave, or that they were glad I was able to be open.

    If it's any help, although getting past that first conversation is daunting, it makes all the ones that follow so much easier. If on the day you decide that today isn't the day, don't be disheartened. Anxiety can make a simple phone call seem scary, so it's only natural that you're nervous. Just take it in your own time, make a 'script' for yourself so you'll know exactly what you'll want to say. Since you feel it's a thing you need to do, use that feeling to give you the courage to tell them.

    I wish you the best of luck!
     
  8. kayaz

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    Thank you @ladykiki . It didn't happen today because the counselor had to cancel which made me not feel great but I have an appt. for the same time tomorrow so i'm hopeful. I was having a lot of anxiety about it until it got canceled so... :l (maybe I'll feel more prepared tomorrow?)
     
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  9. jam93

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    Sorry to hear they cancled on you. Hope you have better luck next time. I'm going to echo what @ladykiki said. If you can get that first bit out it makes it a lot easier. If you can get out that "I need to talk to you about something" then your 90% there, and the last 10 is much easier.
     
  10. Pixo

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    Haha, about that...
    I ended up not doing it today but I came very close to telling people, very, very close. I think I'm going to do it tomorrow so I won't have to deal with the rest of the school week, I'll just come out and go home for the weekend. That sucks that your counselor cancelled, guess we'll try again tomorrow :slight_smile:
     
  11. kayaz

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    Mine had to cancel again. Appt. Now for 2:45 this afternoon. Is this a sign that I shouldn't?
     
  12. jam93

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    I know it's tempting to see it that way, and the delay surely doesn't help with your anxiety, but It probably just means your councelor is a busy person (or just bad at planning out thier day, one of the two). You've got this. Don't let the delays get you down.
     
  13. kayaz

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    I'm standing at the door and my hands are shaking as I type she's on the phone and I've knocked like three times and... I'm not sure if I'm being loud enough
     
  14. MaoKingofcats

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    Sorry I'm not much help but I wish you luck on coming out to your guidance counselor as well! ;v;
     
  15. kayaz

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    I had to reschedule again. My self doubt is very high and I kinda feel like crying. But I have a commitment right now so :frowning2:
     
  16. kayaz

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    Had to reschedule again. Feeling very discouraged and don't know where else to turn. (Here but where else?) :frowning2: I just feel really depressed
     
  17. jam93

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    So, are you rescheduling because your counceler is busy and can't meet with you? Or are you the one rescheduling the appointments? I'm not asking to be rude, I just want to make sure I understand what's going on.
     
    #17 jam93, Oct 30, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2017
  18. kayaz

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    She keeps having to reschedule. I'm to the point where i'm just discouraged now. When I started this thread I felt so ready and now I just feel lost. And this on top of my other mental heath issues i feel like I'm spiraling.
     
  19. jam93

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    Wow, that sucks. I'm sure she's busy, but she's canceled on you three times (Unless I messed up counting) now, which is ridiculous. If she has something going on that makes it so she can't see you any time soon she should just tell you, instead of leading you on like this. I know you're getting discouraged, anyone would be in your situation, but if she can see you when you're next scheduled you should go through with it. From the sound of it you really need to talk to someone about this, and If you think she will be supportive and help you then you need to do it. However, if she cancels on you again, you might want to look at other options. three times is ridiculous, and it makes me think she might have something else going on and if that is the case she might not be able to get to you soon. It seems like this constant rescheduling and having to wait is stressing you out a lot. If that's going to keep happening and if you can't meet with your counselor now, you might be better off either waiting awhile, calming down, and trying again when she's hopefully less busy, or finding someone else to talk to.
     
  20. kayaz

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    thanks for the advice @jam93 It's nice to know that there are other people out there hearing my thoughts. And I'm glad that I'm not the only one who would feel frustrated. I was thinking that I was just being too bitter or petty. But on the other hand i think 4 times now is just a little ridiculous. I'm planning on being fully out in college so maybe I can just wait a few more months. (but at the same time I wanted to have this meeting and come out to someone who I can trust who is involved in my college apps so I can figure that out)