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Coming out to toxic parent

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DreamerAsh, Jul 12, 2018.

  1. DreamerAsh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I've always had issues with my mom their parenting style isn't the greatest..I mentioned my struggles and heartaches in a previous thread over this. I want to come out to her about me being transgender and gay. I know it won't be easy as her idea of trans is a he-she, a drag queen, a creepy guy dressing like a woman and trying to seduce men. Also, two guys kissing and two guys even suggesting that there will be a sex scene on TV makes her disgusted and sick to her stomach. But, I went to try and fix our relationship when I'm older and financially dependent despite all the times she's held me back and as a person not as trans, or gay, holding me back from being my true powerful self. I know she's toxic, but I believe everybody can change. Perhaps it's only wishful thinking..as she is my mom. But, though I've tried many times before I wanna do this big effort thing and try one last time. To at least maybe have a grandmother for my kids someday..one that doesn't brainwash them and teach them bad ideas. What I'm asking for is advice on how to teach her what lgtb+ really is. What it means to be a trans man. How gays aren't stereotyped and any different than any hetero relationship. That it's okay for a gay couple to hold hands, the children won't get scarred for life. What kind of things do you face as an lgbt+ person of the community? And what are some ways to explain the truth behind it and clear up the ignorance behind it. And at the least I want her to have an explanation at family dinners when I show up a changed person and a changed man.
     
  2. quebec

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    DreamerAsh.....You might check PFLAG for resources. They deal with parents of LGBTQ kids all the time. I know your not a "kid" at 17, but the info they have will still be good to help you mom understand, if she's willing to try. If she refuses, there's not much you can do, but making the effort to help her realize that the LGBTQ Family are not freaks is still the right thing to do. I hope it goes well...keep us updated!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  3. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member Away

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    Location:
    England (Lincolnshire)
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I second the advice about PFLAG. If your mom takes the time to speak to other parents, she might begin to understand more and gain a better perspective. You could begin by downloading some of the resources and leaving them for her to read.
     
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