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Coming out to therapist

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by moxie, Jan 12, 2020.

  1. moxie

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Ithaca, NY
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    My therapist pretty much knows I’m gay. I told her via email after a really hard session where I couldn't get the words out. We've since talked about it vaguely, but I've never actually said aloud that I'm a lesbian. In part because I'm in a 10-year marriage with two young kids, just figuring this out in my mid-thirties. She's very supportive of all of this.
    I am just worried I won't have the courage to say it and will avoid once again. But I need to say it out loud, I know I do.
     
  2. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

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    Some people
    Hi @moxie

    Yes, I told my therapist via email before I started therapy, so she knew the whole time, but wouldn’t mention it unless I did.

    After this happened to me - couldn’t say what I wanted to and then emailed my therapist after the session - I needed a break, where sexuality wasn’t mentioned as it felt like it had become a big deal. Then I just mentioned it in passing during another session and my therapist didn’t make a fuss. She always made a point of not making a big deal out of it. That worked for me because I was in therapy about my relationship, with my sexuality being the secondary issue, so not talking about it for a few weeks was fine.

    Be kind to yourself. It’s really hard.

    I’m sure you’ve read/heard this before, but have you tried saying it whilst looking in a mirror? Some people find that incredibly helpful.
     
  3. Rade

    Full Member

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    Out to everyone
    Perhaps bring it up at your next session. I was married and have 3 kids, I'm a great father still. It's really hard but you will feel so free. Your husband, like my ex wife deserve someone who truly loves them. I'm separated from her now. It's a long journey but you will get there and probably change so much as a person. I'm a completely different guy now. I know I'm a guy but I do understand how hard it is. My kids were 12,9 and 5 when I came out 23 months ago.
    Big hugs. Jon xx
     
    #3 Rade, Jan 13, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2020