I am 29 year old gay male, I have been in the closet my entire life. I have in my mid 20s made a gay friend I met off ###### (strictly platonic) who made me feel really good about being able to be myself around someone, but he is my only gay friend, every other male friend I have is straight, and although they have never really questioned my sexuality I still always have in the back of my mind how my relationship with them would be if I came out to them. I know most people would say nothing would change but even the thought of a slight change in their behaviour towards me because of me being gay kinda scares me and I think prevents me from coming out to them. I have last year come out to a couple of friends I have known for about 2 years, we all live in different countries and I guess that also gave me the courage to come out to them last year when we met again face to face, but to my straight male friends I don't know where to find the courage to come out to them. Anyone who came out to straight male friends can share some of their experiences?
Those two friends I came out to last year were girls, who took it very well and were very supportive.
The only straight guys that mean a lot to me are my brother and my dad. I know it's different because they're family, but both treat me the same as before coming out. I've gotten closer to both since coming out, and my brother is super chill about it, even wanting to third wheel on our dates lmao Then there's the guy I used to be very good friends with until about mid-highschool (we drifted apart because we didn't have any classes together anymore). We still talk occasionally, he had a nice response when I first initially came out. He is completely unbothered whenever I meantion my bf or gay things. All the random straight guys I come out to (when they pressure me about girls lmao) seem fine with it too. So yeah, coming out in general and to straight guys, 10/10, would do again
I think you should consider that if any of your straight friends stop being your friends because you are gay, then it should cause you to re-think the strength of your friendship anyway. I have lost some straight friends since coming out - not in a dramatic way, just drifted apart. It's pretty normal in this process. The ones who are still my friends I know are truly my friends. I can also say that I've made some straight friends after coming out - and since they know from the beginning of our friendship that I'm gay, I know they are truly accepting of me. My best advice to you is to be yourself, be honest with your friends, and let the chips fall where they may. The ones who stick around are truly your friends. Let the others go.
I came out at an all boys high school and everyone (bar one who i didn't like anyway) were very supportive and accepting. I worried a lot before I did as i thought that i wouldn't be accepted, but truth be told no one really cares if you're gay.
When I was coming out, pretty much all of my friends were straight males. I can relate so much to your fears; it wasn't just the prospect of being rejected, like you I was scared that it would change things somehow, like they'd act differently around me. Like they'd be uncomfortable hanging out with me on their own and stuff. My fears were completely unfounded. Not only were they supportive of me, they were the exact same. I'm still friends with them all today. Along the way, I've been able to introduce them to any partners I had, and if my love life were to come up in conversation, it's discussed in the same way a straight friend's would. I've shared rooms with some of them abroad, I still go swimming and to the gym with one of them all the time. Nothing changed, only that I could truly be myself around them. Unless you have reason to think that they're massively homophobic, I think they'll be cool with it. If someone is secure in their own sexuality, ie they're secure in their heterosexuality, they tend not to really care (in the UK, anyway). Real friends just want you to be happy, and they'll know that this step is one towards you being happy. So if they're good friends, honestly they'll probably just be happy for you. I should also say that I came out to most of them via text message. Everyone's different, but if you feel like face to face is too difficult, there are other options to do it - again, people do understand how hard coming out is for someone. How you do it doesn't really matter in the end.
