I'm thinking of coming out to my parents. I told my siblings almost 2 years ago and their significant others but no one else. Even though I have always feared my parents reactions because they are catholic, there has always been a feeling in my mind that they would be ok with it. The most obvious indicator? Last summer, my sister made a brief stop with my parents at a gay pride parade when she was doing an internship away from home and they were visiting. (The irony is that now my parents have more experience at a pride parade than I ever have.) She told me they were fine with the event even though they never reacted well to it on the news previously. They also asked her if I was gay, but she told them she didn't know. They have never asked me directly. This was 2016. In 2015, after coming out to my siblings, I joined a couple LGBT groups. It was a totally new experience for me, being out and social and it was a great experience but many of the people in the groups were a lot older than me so we weren't hanging out outside the groups. A month or so in, I met someone that I enjoyed hanging out with. I started developing feelings for him and held it for a couple months, I opened myself up and got stung in return. I ended up going deeply back in the closet and only in the last 6 months have I been trying to make my way back. I realized in the last few months upon lots of reflection, there is an underlying shame that has been lingering inside me and I am not sure if it is completely gone. I don't know whether it is shame from my past experiences being out or being gay or both. I don't want to feel it, but I know it has been there. I feel a mental barrier that is hard to describe, the conditions feel ripe but something inside me still is holding me back. I guess I posted this to just lets some thoughts out that have been brewing for a while, but also to see if anyone can relate with any of this.
Hi CanadianRunner, in my experience coming out is a very personal journey that will make you feel vulnerable and doubt yourself at times. And having someone treat you like that when you had opened up has made that process a little bit harder to deal with. But once you start to work through some of the reasons why you feel shame, things will get easier! Then you can come out to your parents.
It sounds like your parents know, or at least suspect. And let's put a good spin on it: they are being tactful and understanding and letting you out yourself at your own speed. So I think the signs are good.
Heyo yea I agree with @beenthrdonetht. I think your parents would be pretty supportive about it so yea I think you should do it at your own pace and do it at your own place. You can do it! Me and others believe in you! :3
Hey CanadianRunner, If/when you decide to Come Out to your parents is totally up to you. You should only do so when you are comfortable with the idea. It sounds like you might be dealing with some internalized homophobia. Why not check out this blog entry by Sienna Fire and see if it helps.
Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond. @Quantumreality - that was a great blog entry. I relate with so much of it. Thanks. I can see I clearly need to work on myself more first
Hey CanadianRunner, No harm. No foul. You just have to be you. No one is truly judging you but you. Be who you truly are and be the best you that you can be. You owe that to yourself and to no one else. To me, that's the bottom line. In the meantime, I understand completely that you have a lot to work on internally for your own acceptance/peace of mind. You aren't different in that respect from many of the rest of us in the LGBTQ community. Trust and accept that you have peers and friends here who can help you, if you'll allow us.
