Hey gang, I wanted to get some advice or your thoughts on this. I recently started a new job as a teacher at a school for students with behavioral disabilities and emotional problems grades 1-12. While I love it, many of my students make extremely homophobic comments which make me very uncomfortable. I hear the major F bomb at least 15 times a day and hear very explicit homophobic comments throughout the day. I have addressed how I feel about these homophobic comments with my students gently but I have never told them that I am gay. In my previous school, nearly all of my high school students knew that I was gay and I never had any issues nor heard any homophobic comments. The protocol for managing behavioral and sexual comments is to ignore it, and if a student does not stop, then they are warned and then they are physically removed as necessary. A lot of things are let to slide in my school, that is simply part of the behavior protocol. I swore that I would never come to my students at this school, solely because I wanted to be more private with my personal life. I am questioning if I perhaps should come out to them. I am uncertain if it would make the problem worse or if it would help to enlighten them. I am having a problem with my middle and high school students specifically (grades 7-12). Your advice and thoughts please.
Here's the thing, it can be a double edged sword. On the one hand, it could be a positive thing. It could bring about a positive change of attitude about how it's effecting someone else. On the other hand, it could massively backfire and make you a direct target rather than an indirect bystander. The main question I'd want to know is are they capable of the emotional intelligence to be empathetic about how it could hurt someone else? If not, it's more than likely going to backfire.
Thank you! I’m assuming that you teach music. I teach art and life skills. I do not think that they have the emotional intelligence to handle it. I fear that they will see it as a way to challenge me, at least initially. I think that what scares me is that while part of me wants to show my true colors, the reality is that this is a 1-12 school so I will inevitably have the same kids again year after year. What I mean is that I would have to see the ripple of me coming out indefinitely. I have talked with one of the behavioralist and counselors about it and I am hoping that eventually I can make some progress. Maybe I’ll teach about different types of families in my Life and Careers class for the middle and high school grades. Maybe religion and culture too just to throw them off of my rainbow trail. My state just made LGBTQ education a requirement.
I mean I do teach music — that's what my subject matter is — but marching band teaches so much more than just music. Easing them into it is probably a good idea. However if they're incapable of experiencing empathy, they may never fully get it. Just think about this: if at any point, you make the decision to make this publicly known at school, you're setting yourself up for at least 12 years of possible issues if you stay there that long. Personally I don't advertise it but it's not a secret, either.
Hey @Uncolored I wonder if you need to come out to them. Could you not just teach them about tolerance and empathy and whatever else to make them think before insulting whole groups of the population? Are racist comments allowed? Sexist? It seems to me this would be the same lesson as far as acceptable behaviour is concerned. Just a thought. :]
