So, first of all, I should mention that my grandmother is the sweetest, albeit perhaps a little too naïve and DEFINITELY out of the loop of most going ons in the world. I've also been socially out for eons (just not to her or most of that side of the fam). But now I'm starting to get the ball rolling on the hormones and name change processes and I need to come out to her. But I'm really not sure at all how to explain it. I'm not sure if she's familiar with the concept of being trans, but I'm sure if she is it's likely incredibly inaccurate. I've never been the best at explaining things either. I really want to avoid the whole "girl brain in boy body" narrative because its so inaccurate and really doesn't even describe who I am, but I also have no way to explain to her who I am and what this means without boiling it down to that kind of simple terminology. Does anyone have any advice about how I can approach this?
love don't judge.....Have you posted something like this in the "Gender Identity and Expression" subforum? I can imagine that there are people there who have come upon similar difficulties. I had to decide whether to tell my 91-year-old mother that I was gay. Of course, my problem didn't include a name change & HRT, etc. I think you are going to have to give your grandmother a simplified version. Even if she is very sharp it will probably be difficult. Wish I could give you magic words to say! .....David
I came out to my grandmother shortly before I underwent my name change. I did it at the urging of my mother, because at that point things were going to be pretty hard to hide from her. I called my grandparents, got them both on a phone on their end, and explained things. In as simple terms as I could, I told them that I am trans, and that I was already medically transitioning, and that I was going to be legally changing my name shortly, and informed them of what I was going by at the time. I had hoped they would take it well, but a few days later I got a handwritten letter from my grandmother condemning me and my actions. Telling me that when she was my age, she could have made choices that would’ve drastically changed her life, and that if she had made those choices, I’d’ve never been born. She has since written me out of the will, and has not given a single Christmas/birthday gift to me or my siblings in the nearly 2.5 years since my coming out to her
I'm so sorry about that, Phoenix. How is the rest of your family about it? I think I agree with Quebec. You are probably just going to have to simplify things. You could always find a website or literature about trans issues and offer it to her if she is interested. I hope everything goes well. Best Wishes!
When I came out to my grandma as being trans, she was confused and just thought that ment I was super gay...lol. I had some resources together that I could give her so she could read them when she had time to understand more. She still does not totally understand it, but she tries and that is good enough for me. I think that there are some resources in the sticky thread in the gender identity subforum.
