When I first came out, it was as genderfluid. For some reason I thought being born female, but enjoying being male meant I was switching genders, genderfluid. But, looking back I understand now I was trans even way back then. When I first came out to my mom she shamed me for it and even made an effort to isolate me from lgbt+ friends as they were bad influences and encouragers. It was a negative experience and left me with this constant block stopping me from saying I was entirely male. I was comfortable saying 80℅ male 20℅ female. The struggles I faces were so bad I felt shame being masculine entirely and I felt major dysphoria forcing myself to stay feminine, female. But, I'm letting go of that shame and being true to me. I came out to 6 of my friends all lgbt+ and one fellow trans. My best friend has been my greatest supporter. He taught me that their was nothing to be ashamed of for being me. I learned that I was really happier, that I sorta glowed when I was being my true self. That I didn't stand out in this awful way I had in my mind. He is truly accepting in every way. My other friend, also my ex -boyfriend, I came out to. The funny thing is, the first thing he said. Was, I knew it!! Having dated both guys and girls and having a trans friend. I guess he picked up a vibe and saw my true self through the constant charade I put on as female. The other four said I was the same person I've always been to them, just happier and they'll support me every step of the way. I'm thinking when I'm older and transitioned I'll come out to my mom again as trans. This time armed with resources and solid proof of being happier as a male than as a female. The most obvious truth, that proves trans people aren't fakers in any way. They're real people with real feelings.
