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Coming out to closed off parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dcalong, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. dcalong

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi,

    I've previously posted about anixety attacks that started happening last year which I can only associate with being in the closet. Over the past 10 years I've managed to close myself off to everyone to the point where I now just go to work and come home. This makes it difficult finding anyone to talk to, even with new interactions I'm having trouble making conversation as I don't have anything going on in my life to talk about. I'm not even certain these are anxiety attacks but after being to hospital several times, they've found nothing of concern.

    So, the only solution is coming out to my parents in the hope that I can slowly progress and move on. The problem I have is that my parents are completly emotionally closed off and we don't talk about anything. I know my mum doesn't agree with people being gay as she's previously said homophobic comments.

    My question is, how do I come out to them in a non-emotional way that won't make them or me feel uncomfortable?
     
  2. quebec

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    dcalong....Hi, sorry about the anxiety attacks. I've never had one, but I was with a friend once who had one and it wasn't pretty. An answer to your question that has been suggested a lot here on empty closets is a letter. Putting everything you want to say in a letter helps you organize your thoughts. It also allows you time to think through what you want to say and be sure not to miss something important. At the same time, if you arrange for your parents to get the letter when you are not there, then your parents will also have time to think about it and talk about it before they see you again. A lot of times having time to think about how to react to someone coming out really helps to avoid the sudden, emotional reaction that happens so often. Even if you don't give them the letter, writing it will help you. Good luck and YOU BE YOU! .....David