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Coming Out To An Accepting Dad But Unaccepting Mother

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by The Hybrid, Dec 28, 2018.

  1. The Hybrid

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    Basically, I turn 14 in April so I'm at the age now where I get " The Talk" about the birds and the bees and whatnot. Anyway, my dad seems to be okay with me having gay, pan and trans friends but I still feel uncomfortable coming out to him. Then, my mother has very clearly expressed her views on the LGBTQ+ community which makes me very scared of being rejected by her. I plan to come out to them in late January by a letter but I still feel incredibly anxious about it. What should I do?
     
  2. Jude B

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    Coming out to an unaccepting parent is tricky.
    Have you considered just coming out to your dad first, so that you can test the waters?
    Plus, you could ask him what he thinks of what you should do about your mother.
     
  3. The Hybrid

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    The thing is, I am unsure of how he will react because he and my mum are very close and he will probably tell my mum without me coming out to her myself. So I want to come out to them in a letter so they have time to think a come up with a detailed response and get back to me. But I see what you mean.
     
  4. Jude B

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    Hm. Alright. I understand. It sounds like you have a good plan, then. I wish you the best of luck! :fingers_crossed:
     
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  5. The Hybrid

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    Thanks a bunch!
     
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  6. Kevin k

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    Oh, such a similar situation. My dad seems okay with it, but says really wierd stuff sometimes. My mom, who found out based on my search history (my careless mistake) and she is absolutely put off by it. I hope you have better luck, and if u could say one thing as advice, if she really isn't accepting, just don't mention it and keep your private business private. Best of luck to you.
     
  7. Lgbtqpride

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    Love has no gender. I am sure your mum can understand.