Hey all, So in July I start T. I'm pretty much counting down the weeks at this point, I'm just so anxious to start my life. But my concern is coming out. At this point only five people and my mom and brother know about me. My youngest brother who is 17 has yet to find out, but the 21-year-old knows. I want to do a very public coming out, just to get it all out there in one fell swoop instead of repeating myself ten thousand times. I'm well aware that I cannot expect acceptance from everyone, but I am concerned that I will be overwhelmed with ignorant questions, which obviously isnt their fault, but I'd like to know how to best avoid them. This is the plan in my head so far: -I want to wait until I've officially started T before I tell anyone, because in terms of clothing and stuff I'm still transitioning, and I don't feel comfortable with people knowing just yet, because I barely pass. -What I thought I would do is speak to HR for the company I work for (bookstore chain) then send a mass email to the staff of about 80 people. -for friends I want to try and speak to them each in person, but for those it's not possible to do so, again mass email. -For family members I want to do individual letters to important family that I see all the time, and have a sit down with my brother. I also want to do the sit down bit with my grandfather. I want to detail in my letters that it's been something I have been dealing with for many years and that I believe that it is the only choice for me, but I'm afraid of it coming off as another one of my mad schemes--my family and friends have seen me jump from one thing to the next school-wise, which we all know is not the same thing at all, but they will link them together, my mom already has. I also am having a problem on how to phrase the 'its okay to ask me questions' part because I'm sure I'll get inappropriate questions about my genitals and/or surgery but I don't know how I should phrase everything without coming off as rude. I hope this makes sense, my mind is kind of elsewhere lately.
Hello I don't know a lot about trans issues, but your plan looks good! Maybe you could provide a link to a trans FAQ or resource on the internet to reduce the amount of awkward questions (I think you can find some with google)? Wouldn't know how to say they can ask questions but avoid the inappropriate ones though :/ Hope it all goes fine (*hug*)
I think it is definitely a good idea to wait until you are already well under way in the process, to show that you are serious about this. As for the kind of "inappropriate" questions you might get, I think you should be prepared to answer anything. Just think of all the possible questions they might ask you and write them down, then write down your answer to them. This will be just for YOUR reference, so that you can practice before hand. I hope my suggestion helps. Sorry if my reply was short. Good luck!
I've kind of thought about this before, and my stock phrase in my head tends to be kind of sassy, "Would it be okay for you to ask someone else what's in their pants? Why is it okay to ask me?". I'm not sure if there is a nicer way to phrase that, but in our society people's business 'down there' is their own business, cis or trans. The part that is their concern is how to address you pronoun wise. Not sure if that's helpful, but reminding people of what is and isn't their business might help deter some people who don't realize such questions are still rude.
