I am 57 and will be 58 in December. I am very positive my parents who are both in their mid 70's have known that from a early age I was different from other boys my age. I do remember my dad has always made derogatory comments. My mom it seems has always struggled to accepting it and in some form of denial. That is what I have seen from my own perspective. My mom and dad divorced when I was 5. My mom remarried rather quickly and that is a whole other ball of wax. In my later 30's I came publicly out to my mom. She more or less told me I was going through a midlife crisis. That it was just a phrase. I have never in any form had a guy friend or same sex relationship of any sort. A big factor in that being that I always aligned with the charismatic beliefs. In my area even that denomination is very conservative in their viewpoints. I have even been through intense deliverance sessions as well as controlling homosexual thoughts. It has never went away bottom line. My mom and I have never discussed it again since that one time. I came out to my sister just a couple of years ago. She said she always knew and advised me not to come out to my dad. Because of being on disability for a mental illness I have in most cases had to rely on my dad. He is wealthy and own rental houses in the town where we live. I am currently living in one of his houses. In the last several days I have met a guy online he is my age and lives 100 miles from here. Things are going well and we have really hit it off and have chatted and talked on the phone. If things progress from here then its looks like at some point it could develop into a relationship. I hope it goes that way. I know my dad well enough to know he is very prejudice and have made many derogatory comments about gays and blacks. It just seems like a no win situation for me especially. My relationship with both of my parents has always been on rocky territory. My mom has never offered any type of support of any kind since I left home at 19. She has always seemed to in no certain terms turned me away and told me to go to my dad and I have. I have never had any type of privacy living in this town especially in his rentals. He and my brother come over whenever and they do not call ahead of time. They do knock on the door, it is not like they open the door. I never have any company other than them. I really do not want to drag any guy who is openly gay into a discreet relationship. It would not be fair to him. I do not want that for myself as well. I apologize for opening up about my very convoluted drama. I love to write so it has always been very cathartic for me to convey my thoughts out in the open to make some rational sense out of them. How in the world do I approach my dad and come out publicly to him? There is a big possibility he will publicly shun me. I do not know if he would go to the extent of even taking my out of his will if that is even legally impossible. To be honest I could care less about his money or inheritance. if the thing with this guy I met online develops like I think it will and I do move where he lives and for some reason it doesn't work out at some point in the future I would have no other place to go. As you can see there is a lot of things to think about and weigh out and consider at this point. I know some of you who read this will probably tell me I way overthink this situation. My thoughts about this do seem to be extreme. If you reading this could offer any advice on how to deal with all this please feel free to be honest with me. I want to hear what others have to say and go from there.