I recently came out to a SDA church and not that I believe in it and would ever do it but I was curious what anyone may know about this organization and the harm they done to people. The reaction I got from this elder in the church was that she suggested if I wanted to "change" I could try that organization. So before I begin to reply to her reaction and perhaps try to respectfully give my perspective I want to find out more about this organization that obviously is harmful to LGBT people. If anyone can help would be appreciated.
I don't know anything about the organisation in question, but as a general rule I wouldn't go anywhere near ex-gay organisations or ministries. At the most basic level they are totally ineffective and at worst they do great harm and have even led to suicides. Exodus International was a high profile ex-gay ministry that operated for nearly forty years before ceasing operations in 2013. In 2012 the President of Exodus, Alan Chambers renounced reparative/conversion therapy, stating that it does not work. He then apologised for the pain and suffering Exodus had caused over the years and now works to create safe and welcoming communities for LGBT people. If Exodus had no success in almost forty years of trying, it's safe to say that conversion therapy (or any other term used) is a totally futile endeavour.
I totally agree it does not work. That is what I am arguing just to clarify. The fact even though she did not condemn me or want me out of her life give me a opening that perhaps I can influence her. That maybe wishful thinking but I might try to stay in contact and see how it goes.
Honestly, she is trained to do the exact same thing but to you. She doesn't condemn you or push you away, because if she does then she can't have conversations to try and push you towards trying the conversion camp or God. So just be careful because this can be really harmful if you are not fully. As for learning about conversion camps, look into stories from survivors. There are TONS of youtube videos about it and tons of articles written by survivors that tell just how horrible these places are. You can't really point towards large professional organizations since religious people believe those organizations have been corrupted by the gay mafia (they won't say gay mafia, but talk to them about it and its pretty much it) Vice did a good deep look into what it looks like. Vice is a fairly left leaning organization so conservatives won't take vice seriously. Google "I survived conversation therapy" and tons of videos will pop up. Those will give you narrative from survivors, but it won't give you the history of it all. If you want a fully comprehensive look at conversion therapy, how it got started, how people fought back and a personal interview with the gay dude that started it all, then check out a podcast called "UnErased: The History of Conversion Therapy in America" This is a fact based look into the history of the whole thing. It will answer most questions that you have about it and its incredibly well funded and done by amazing journalists. If you want to consider yourself fairly well versed, listen to the podcast is a must. You will lost a lot of context if you only watch the video
Okay, now for you. Conversion therapy is simply people trying to help others out of their sin. The grand majority of them are not physically violent, but many of them are. Most of them people come voluntarily, but a lot of them is parents putting kids there. They are GOOD at what they dude. The founder of the organization learned from the psychology employed by substance recovery organizations. They use very similar strategies, which is why a lot of conversion therapy feels genuine. It feels like they know what they are doing. There are a lot of "ex-gay" people out there who claim they are no longer gay. The vocal ones who we can track all come out gay years later with multiple cheating incidents too. Its really fucking sad. There is no evidence whatsoever that conversion therapy works. All major psychological organizations denounce the practice. A lot of countries and states are currently in the process of banning the practice for minors as well. Most are succeeding because they can prove in court that the practice creates trauma and doesn't work. Its a scam. If you have any doubt of "maybe there is hope for me to stop being gay" then be very careful talking with these people. They are good and they will convince you to try it once just to see. Just be careful.
As the former president of Exodus International, I can attest to the danger of ex-gay ministries. Orientation is fixed. My encouragement is to accept yourself and God's love and see where that leads.
I understand what you mean and because I do fully accept myself as gay and have no misgivings about my sexuality I know how to be safe and protect myself when I need to. Your right I do know not her true intentions but if it comes to boiling point I will know I need to end the connection. I just like the idea of possibly changing someone's heart and mind because you do not how many lives you may impact in the process if you do try to give her a emotional perspective on something she obviously does not fully understand. I believe in God and I am still religious but just don't believe in her church. Her basic beliefs are not an issue with me. Talking about God in general is another thing compared to trying to change my sexuality.
Just be very careful. A friend of mine, as gay as the sun is bright, went to a licensed psychotherapist who was Christian... and she started out doing regular therapy with him, subtly gave him the message that he felt what he felt because of his parents, and then led him in the direction that "only God could heal him". He was a recovering heroin addict, and her ineptitude had him seriously questioning whether he was say, and almost caused a relapse. He stopped going, I wrote her a scathing email and threatened to report her to the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. But my point is... she seemed harmless and openminded at first, so I double down on Smurf's warnings.
