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Coming out being on the verge.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nick west, Oct 18, 2017.

  1. Nick west

    Nick west Guest

    Being on the verge of coming out is quite hard it’s like you wanna tell people so everyone you wanna know understands who you are. However the constant jokes and people telling you your in the closet just makes it worse I’m hoping to come out after my birthday which is in 2 months but I’m not sure.
     
  2. Billy the kid

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    yeah that sounds good. If you feel confident about it then go for it. Two words.... I'm gay, that's it. You've got a couple months figure out how you want to do it. It's just a matter of being confident. You could say something like yah know how you're always saying I'm in the closet? Well you're right! Or you could write a letter. Or Blow out the candles and say your wish is that everyone accepts me because I'm gay. Or get a birthday card and write inside that your gay and to pass the card to the next person without saying anything until the card goes around and if everyone cheers your wish came true. Just some ideas! I hope it works out for you! If you don't think you're ready you don't have to it's all up to you. Good Luck!!!
     
  3. Nick west

    Nick west Guest

    Thank you so much I hope it works out I’m gonna just find a good day and be honest it’ll be like having weights on your shoulders,
    I’ll be able to express myself and enjoy life.
     
  4. Billy the kid

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    You're welcome Nick, let me know how it goes! When I came out everybody that knows and loves me were just fine with it. You will feel pretty good about yourself. Then you just keep going in life and be who you want to be. Just an even better version of yourself. :slight_smile:
     
  5. Nick west

    Nick west Guest

    Thank you so much I’m gonna come out on my birthday I can’t wait to be more open and I’m overly excited I just hope people understand family members, maybe even people I work with.
     
  6. Quantumreality

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    Hey Nick,

    Are you anticipating a lack of understanding or a negative reaction from your family members? Perhaps you might want to have some information available for them. For example, you could direct them to the PFLAG website. You could also download the Our Children pamphlet from that website and have it available for them.

    Just some thoughts.
     
  7. jam93

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    Nick, the one thing I'll add to what's been said, is that whatever you do, make sure it feels right to you. Coming out is a really personal experience, and you want to make sure whatever you do feels right. I came out, at least to most of my friends, in a big Facebook post on my birthday (which just happened to be National Coming Out Day, nice coincidence there). I spent a lot of time writing that post, making sure it sounded like something I would write. That was important to me, because above all I wanted to convey the message that even though I'm bi, I'm still the guy they've always known. It took me a few drafts, but I finally got it right, and I'm supper happy with the results. I'm not saying you should follow my example there, quite the opposite. Do your own thing, whatever feels right. After all, coming out is about being able to be your true self, so make sure you do it in a way that feels true to you.
     
  8. Nick west

    Nick west Guest

    Thanks I will I’m gonna wait till everybody is in the same room and tell them and get it over with I’ll probably expect jokes, questions etc I’ll feel free
     
  9. Nick west

    Nick west Guest

    What’s it’s like being out of the closet what’s the feeling, do you feel more free?
     
  10. jam93

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    In some ways yes. I don't have to worry about giving myself away anymore, because I already gave myself away on purpose. It definable feels good to know that those around you are aware, and that you can be the real you around them. That doesn't necessarily mean that the, for lack of a better word, instincts I developed while in the closet have gone away. I still find myself questioning weather I should say or do certain things, or weather I should post or share certain things online. Part of that's probably just anxiety, and I have a feeling it will get better with time as I get more used to being out (it's only been about a week at this point), but it's still there for now. Not saying that it doesn't feel good to come out. Holly shit does it feel good. Especially if you have a group of friends or family that is supportive. My friends blew me away with their support when I came out. I knew ahead of time that most of them would be cool with me being bi, but they really surprised me with how supportive some of them were. Funnily enough, some of the ones I was most worried about were the nicest, and said some of the most supportive things. it was a great experience, and if your comfortable enough in yourself and your friend/family group, I would definitely recommend going through with it.
     
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