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Coming out as nb to best friend of 3 years?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SelflessSellout, Jul 11, 2018.

  1. SelflessSellout

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2016
    Messages:
    28
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    He's bi and is already okay with nonbinary people. It's just that he's just not very familliar with (i think)

    We talk semi-regularly so we're pretty comfortable with eachother's company. It has to be over text b/c we live in different timezones now and it's more convenient. Telling him I was bi was easy because he just asked me. I've never brought up anything like this before and I don't really know the do's and dont's about coming out as trans.

    If you've come out over text, should I leave it short and funny or should I be serious and go into depth about it? I don't wanna overwhelm him but I know I shouldn't make it too casual.

    I'm not even sure if I'll have the guts to do it any time soon but it's been crossing my mind a lot lately.
     
  2. wrndnwun

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2018
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm not trans but I do have a brother who is, and I was living in a different country when he came out to me. I remember appreciating the fact that he took the time to let me know, initially he identified as non binary so he just let me know that he no longer identified as female and asked me to use the they pronouns. It was super simple and straightforward and afterwards I asked him some questions about it and he answered them, it was super lowkey and kind of blindsided me, but I was really glad that he took the time to tell me about it.

    In the end I don't really think there are any do's or dont's, it's all up to you, this is your life and your identity and it's up to you how you choose to come out to people and how you let people know that. I imagine if he's bi it shouldn't be a problem for him acceptance wise, but don't get mad if it takes him awhile to adjust, he's known you for three years and it may take awhile or he might accept it right off the bat, but I think it could also deepen your friendship and overall I'm sure it'll be nice for you to be able to be honest with him, especially if you've been thinking about it a lot lately.

    As for how you actually phrase it I think either way is fine, it's totally up to you and what your relationship with him is. You can always start out simply and go into depth as you feel necessary, if you want to talk about it in depth with him I'm sure the opportunity will arise even if you don't give all the details right off the bat, he'll probably ask you anyhow, and if you want to keep it short and funny then go for it, but just be careful that he doesn't think it's a joke because some things don't transfer well over text.

    Good luck, I hope things go well for you :slight_smile: