It was so foolish me to deny myself enjoying gay sex for so long while fantasizing and masturbating exclusively to gay porn all the while. When I was in college my girlfriend lived in a house with five other girls and one had received a joke gift of a subscription to Play Girl magazine. They were always laying about the place and I could never resist looking at them when no one was around. Sometimes I would take big risks in doing this and I think a part of me wanted to get caught by them. Later when I got home I could not stop myself from masturbating with the thoughts of the beautiful naked men I saw on those pages. The thought of making out with those hotties drove me crazy. Every girl in that house greatly enjoyed that gift and I was right there secretly with them in doing that. To be honest I’m tempted to see if I can find any of those same magazines for sale online as that I could buy. It would be nice to be able to keep them around my house the way they were not hidden by those girls. ( when it would be appropriate to do so ) It would give me a feeling that I finally became man I wanted to be deep down all those years ago. After college whenever I saw a Play Girl for sale in store I would think how fun it would be to buy it. Both the purchasing it at the register and the looking at it in private. I never did but if the Internet didn’t happen I’m not sure I could say this. I loved Play Girl as much most of my male friends liked Playboy. i say most because who knows maybe some of them were as gay as me.