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Coming out all at once

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Guest2021, Jul 14, 2021.

  1. Guest2021

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mass
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Anyone come out to everyone (family, friends, school) all at once? What was the experience like?
     
  2. DecentOne

    Full Member

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    Location:
    East Coast US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I didn’t come out all at once, but that was because my wife was needing some breathing room upon hearing I was bisexual.

    But I did eventually come out everywhere - to my Mom and kids and then other family were part of that first wave so they didn’t hear it from the grapevine (I didn’t want them to think I didn’t trust them with the information, or they weren’t important to me). I came out at work, in two stages (first to my boss, then to my co-workers). I came out in church. This all happened within a 10-month period (well, maybe some distant cousins didn’t hear it within that time frame, but pretty close).

    It is pretty freeing to be out everywhere! I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    If you are asking “did anything bad happen?” The answer is no. Other than my wife’s adjustment to the news (marriage therapy helps, and we very much still love each other and are committed to this monogamous marriage), I’ve had smooth sailing.

    P.S. I think it is great that you are here as a supportive parent.
     
  3. SunnyNarwal

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Florida
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I pretty much came out all at once, only for me that was only to friends and family. I don't go to school, and I don't know my coworkers well enough for coming out to make any sense. It's been very freeing. all my friends are supportive, but my religious parents are somewhat in denial. They have been respectful, but believe that I am a naturally straight person who has been "corrupted" into a homosexual, which is of course hurtful when I've spent so much of my childhood trying desperately to be straight, and making myself miserable because of it. I came out under pressure as well, and I regret that I was not more confident in my sexuality at the time. I allowed my parents to manipulate me into feeling ashamed. However, coming out was the first step into getting over that shame and repression, and I'm much happier now.
     
  4. weemmy worm

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I came out all at once and it wasn't that bad. my parents are around 50 but they're supportive and have taken me to pride parades since I was like 4. they didn't really care about me being bisexual, they just said that I'm too young to formally date, kiss/makeout, or have sex with anyone which is fair. I told my mom that I thought I was genderfluid and I had to explain to her what it was. she was kinda confused but said that my friends and I spent a lot of time thinking abt our gender. my dad was cool with it and my mom helps me wash my binder. they don't use pronouns other than she/her but they're pretty supportive and buy me masculine clothes.

    if you're thinking about coming out all at once, try telling your parents (if that's who you think will react worst) that you met someone who was trans or bi or gay. gauge their reaction and act accordingly. remember that you'll always have people who support you