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Coming out again...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GeekyKelly, Sep 16, 2018.

  1. GeekyKelly

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    Hi. I have a pretty strange tale to tell u guys.

    I thought was heterosexual before before high school, then I thought I'm bisexual when I was attracted to both male and female. I met a guy, he is cute and has charm in him. I thought i was in love but I'm wrong. I started to feel something weird, I don't feel comfortable to hold hands, hug or kiss him. I first thought I just don't love him anymore and i feel like an asshole. Then i noticed something, I started having attraction to female instead of male. After I am sure about being a lesbian, I told the guy that I'm sorry and came out. After this come out, I suffered from a series of verbal abuse from him for a long time but this is another story...

    Then I met "her". She is the love of my life, we have a very stable long term relationship. We been through a lot of hardships in life together and our relationship is very strong. Although we live in Hong Kong which we can't get legally married, we planned on having a wedding of our own in the future.

    Then this sexual orientation fluidity shit comes. Don't get me wrong, I still love her but I think I'm pansexual. Due to the experience I had before, I'm afraid of coming out again..

    Now i feel like I'm a asshole to my ex and afraid to come out as pan to my love. This is so important to me and I feel like the love of my life should know it. However, she is very insecure because of her ex. If I tell her, she will think that I will leave her or cheat on her. I don't know what should i do now, please help me...
     
  2. GeekyKelly

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    sorry for grammar mistakes, English is not my native language:slight_smile:
     
  3. mnguy

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    All you can do is be honest about your sexuality and reassure her it doesn't mean you can't be faithful to her. Write what you're thinking if it would be hard to say and give her the letter. Being pansexual you're still attracted to her. She needs to work on her insecurities and you both have to establish open and honest communication in order to have a lasting, healthy relationship so you might as well start working on those things now. Seems like so many relationship issues I read about would be solved or at least reduced if people would talk openly. If you can make that the expectation in your relationships then it should be easier to do as a habit. Make it a habit. I hope this works out for you two and will be happy together, take care!
     
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  4. Love4Ever

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    I would just tell her the truth. It doesn't change anything about your relationship. Sexuality is fluid and what labels we choose to use to express that can change. But the only thing you have to assure her will never change is your love for her.