I am new to the website and have found lots of great advice here in a short amount of time. I am coming out at 60 after 38 years of being married to my wife. I have decided to work in therapy for a period of months before coming out to her. I am building a "care circle" of people who can be honest and clear with me in the meantime....and I count all of your advise as another place of support. Why am I doing this? I'm done with self-hatred and living as someone I'm not. I'm done with suicidal ideation, internalized homophobia, and all of the other "man" nonsense that fills every pore of my body. I am dreading the experience of telling my wife and kids, but there isn't any way around it. I totally fearful of an unknown future, as the life I've been living for nearly 40 years is all I really know. I have been faithful to my wife and never messed around with men, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that I'm gay and now...I have to fix the life I have led by confessing openly what parts of it were a lie...and which parts were authentic. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I move forward to an unknown future.
Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets! There are lots of members here in similar situations, and I'm sure you'll have lots of friends before you know it. I think it's a good idea that you have decided to work on some things in therapy before coming out to your wife.
Hi ormanout Welcome to EC. I have been a member for the last 2 months and have been amazed at the level of support I have received. I am 53 years old and have been married for 25 years and am working through my feelings in preparation for eventually coming out to my wife. I am sure over the next few days those members that have befriended me and offered advice will contact you but in the meantime you could look at posts by the following who are in or have been in similar situations 55 anonymousdad boulanger55 ChandlerCurious Chrissouth53 Dave1965 Dublin Boy Emergelove greatwhale greg Griffin jimL Jim1454 KneeDragger Maelstrom67 maxx NomadicDave Omla Oregontinker PeteNJ PianoNate quinos s5m1 SmokeandMirrors snowman1 steveb999 StevieD stilllovelyafte stuck mistake tom100 Tracker57 Sale Gay Guy
Welcome to EC! I think the care circle and the therapy piece are in your favor. You are doing all the correct things. Hugs.
Congrats! This is your sweet sixteen party so forget 60! You are not going to believe how this changes your life for the good. Yeah, there will be bumpy patches but even trips to Hawaii hit a little turbulence now and then. Again, congrats and welcome! Stuck
Great to meet you! Yes, an unknown but exciting journey. Yes, build your posse, you (and me), need that so very much. And revel, dear ormanout, on becoming whom you were born to be!
Hi and welcome to EC! I'm so glad that you've found us here, because I really found this forum to be helpful to me when I was in the process of coming out. I'm also glad to hear that you're in therapy - I couldn't have done it either on my own. You're on the right path - keep going.
Thanks to all who took time to write and give support. It's one step at a time and one foot in front of the other. In the last week, I have come out to a long-time dear friend and colleague and also to a LGBT resource person, who is tremendous. The words of encouragement and support are exactly what I need right now. The internalized homophobia is awful and your messages of encouragement are what will get me through it. (!)(!)(!)
Welcome to the Great and Powerful EC It's a fantastic place to meet new friends, and to get very helpful advice, and support (*hug*)
Similar situation here too. Welcome and keep us posted! There are more of us than I realized, and I'm learning from each of you.
Congratulations, it sounds as though it has not been an easy journey, and there will still be bumps on the road ahead, but you are taking steps and moving yourself forward. I will be following your story with interest and wishing you well every step of your journey.
Congratulations and welcome to EC! Churchill often remarked that courage was the first of all the virtues, without which all your other good qualities are for naught. Congratulations on taking this step on the road to being true to yourself!
