I don't have anyone to talk to about this right now and it keeps all wirring round in my head so I thought I'd post. I'm not really asking for advice though I suppose you could give some. My university's LGBT society was terrible last year, organised no good social events and I got to know very few LGBT students. Yesterday evening we had our first meeting of the new year, it was a little chill party in the uni bar with free fooood. I got no free food but it didn't matter because I met so many great people! Lots of very beautiful girls, some nonbinary people (I didn't really know anyone non binary before tbh) and some cool gay guys - one called Takeshi who had amazing turquoise hair. Anyway, at some point, me, being sick of how dead the scene was last year, lead everyone out to the gay nightclubs and we had such a long great night at a couple places. It was awesome - its really the first time I've been on a proper gay night out and the first time I've felt like I've had so many queer friends - it was like I was hearding a school trip around there was so many of them and I got to know them all a bit. Also, towards the end, when everyone was either gone or hanging out in the smoking area, I ended up on the dance floor alone with this amazing Texan girl from our group (im british so Texan's pretty cool to me) who I had walked (partially) home the night before, and good god we did some intense dancing and some very crazy (possibly too much for public spaces) making out. Which was amazing because I've only ever kissed one other girl and that was over a year ago and fairly soon after coming out to myself. In the mean time I've kissed guys and really not been enjoying it and I'm so glad to end a night clubbing kissing a girl not a guy because it was much more enjoyable. I was gonna go back with her but I'm a terrified little virgin and she knew it so she told me it was okay and she popped me in a cab and payed for me and just walked off into the night. I was quite terrified she would never make it home she seemed quite drunk but she texted me when she got back thank god. She also suggested we go on some sorta date maybe... I dunno if she'll still be thinking that when she sobers up haha but if so wow, i'm a bit overwhelmed. (I was also very awkwardly drunk and horny and possibly on the verge of a heart attack in the taxi and kept giggling to myself cos I didn't know what to do - it was embaressing. And then I paced around for an hour after getting back even though it was 4am and then I woke up at 7am this morning because I'm still nervous - that overwhelmed). I feel a bit infantile being 19 and in the year above her but having no idea how dating works. Anyway, I'm jumping the gun because theres a large chance she won't be as bothered when she's sober and thats fine I just enjoyed the night a lot. I am literally a child I need to sort myself out. But also YAY I feel like I finally can have the actually enjoyable gay old life I envisioned I would get by moving to the city now!
Wow, what an amazing night! I'm not at all jealous I don't think you're being a child because if I was you & I had the same experience I'd be the exact same! It seems like this girl is understanding as you didn't pressure you or anything to go home with her & even paid for your taxi home so with that in mind I don't think she'd be expecting anything from you if you were to go on a date. Dates aren't that scary in my experience especially as you've already met her in person & know she seems into you, I think the question you need to ask yourself is where would you feel most comfortable on the first date? I wouldn't suggest a night out drinking just because you don't really get to know the person that well, but on the other hand if that makes you more comfortable, go for it! There are no real set rules for dating, you just use the time to get to know one another & see where it goes. I don't know if that was in any way helpful because I'm not really sure what advice you're looking for but just enjoy yourself, don't stress about sex until you're ready for it & have fun!
I wasn't really sure what i was asking for either i just wanted to talk about the night it was pretty legendary. As I said, just come be happy and excited with me... In updates, I added her on facebok but she hasn't responded so I can't work out if that's just because she doesn't really use it or because she regrets asking me out haha. Anyway, I have her number so I'm gonna have to work this out and decide whether or not to text her or something. Now that I'm less drunk and the period of extreme excitement is over I dunno how much I want to go out with her. I literally do not know at all because I didn't speak to her much I just have a lot of flashbacks to intense making out to work with, thats all I know of her. And that she's from texas, she has some weird aunt who's obsessed with squid... and I can't even remember what she's studying at university . Also tbh there was another girl who I sort of had my eye on that night... but I don't think she's into me but I definitely spoke to her more. I should probably forget about that. Yes now I'm definitely over being excited and I'm second guessing myself. And in the mean time I'm having serous worries about money that I'm trying to sort out and I haven't slept much so I am all so very overwhelmed. There's another lgbt night at a neighbouring university I might go to tonight. I don't know if I will I'm a bit sleep deprived but it sounds really good. I could maybe ask Texan girl if she wants to come to that... or I could just go (or er not go and sleep maybe) and put off trying to work out if she still wants to talk to me for another day. I am the queen of overthinking things so I'm sort of glad I have money stuff that i desperately have to sort out because its something a bit more concrete to worry about which is also a legitmate reason to be too preoccupied to make decisions about my love life. But also, I should not put this off for long.
