I went to go tour a college today (it looked amazing, academically and sports-wise), and it made me start thinking about how I'm going to handle being transgender when I'm old enough to go (in much more depth; I've definitely thought about it before). I've still got a year and a half, but it worries me. Many experiences I heard about and learned about there were tainted by the voice in my head saying, "That will never happen for you, you're trans," or "That will be much harder to accomplish, you're trans." I know I made a "How will I cope with being on a team" thread last August, and that helped a lot when I thought about sports in college. I'm not going to like competing on the girls' team but I'll probably not get T until I'm done with my first four years. I have many other concerns; the main one is if I should let everyone I meet at college know I'm trans or keep it suppressed like at high school? I mean filling out applications for the college. Should I tell them I'm transgender? That's probably a dumb question but I guess I've just gotten used to keeping it in a small, tight-knit circle of my parents and two friends, and it scares me to death to open up with my secret to everyone, yet keeping it a secret from the school will drive me crazy. Telling other students and my XC coach and other professors is going to scare me a lot, too. This question also affects dorms, like if I tell the school I'm trans, will they still put me in a girls' dorm room with a girl roommate? If I have a girl as a roommate I will feel very uncomfortable but I'd feel uncomfortable with a male too, not having the same body as them. I have no knowledge and I felt way too uncomfortable to ask anyone there today, especially with my mom with me at all times (still not accepting me). And what about my name? I can barely say it without getting angry, getting stuck with a name that's two female names smushed together, neither names having male counterparts... While my friend who's very cis has a unisex name. It's unfair... Can I tell people I meet at college my preferred name and completely leave out my birth name? I feel like I'm lying and it makes me feel awful if I do that. (I was thinking Will, as in my signature. It's old, ordinary and simple but I think that's why I like it. It's normal, unlike mine.) Okay wow, this turned into a vent really quickly. Sorry about that. I'd appreciate any advice about how you coped with going into college transgendered, your experiences and what worked for you. Even though this thread is mainly about general college life, college sports advice is welcome too. There are many other things I worried about earlier, not just limited to these things I brought up.