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Clothing

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by HasMods, Jan 27, 2021.

  1. HasMods

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    This past year since quarantine started, i’ve realized i would like to try wearing feminine clothing, i’ve looked a lot of different clothes up and i think i know what i would want, however, i’ve lived my whole life wearing masculine clothing, and my mom is not exactly a good person so i can’t just ask her if she can buy me feminine clothes. Since the holidays have passed, i’ve received a healthy amount of gift cards for amazon and such, and my sister is very accepting of people so i’d like to ask her if i could just use her account and basically make it look like she’s buying it for herself. I’m still really nervous about telling her because it would be the first family member i’ve told, and i’ve only told two other people. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to go about asking my sister and maybe some ways i could buy the clothes without really raising suspicion from my mom
     
  2. QuietPeace

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    What exactly do you mean by this? If it could endanger you in any way if your mother finds out I would not recommend starting while you still live at home. My mother never accepted me and had she found that I had anything at your age I would have either been put through conversion "therapy" or just been thrown out. While waiting until you are on your own may feel like torture and seem like it will be forever it is not nearly as bad as living on the streets or conversion "therapy" (I have experienced both homelessness, conversion "therapy").

    If it would not make you unsafe to be found out then go ahead and find a way to shop. Couldn't you just create your own online accounts and order the clothes yourself? Online shopping places would not know at all if your birth assignment does not match the designated gender of the clothing (I say that sort of jokingly as clothes do not have a gender they are objects). I find most of my clothing at thrift stores, even when going in while I was presenting male no one really blinked an eye over it.
     
  3. Jenna3882

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    I can relate. I remember the first time I bought myself a pair of panties. I went to a department store, upstairs to the lingere section. I was fully dressed as a male and i was alone and scared to death. This was when I was still living with my parents so online buying and having a package show up was not an option.

    I stood within sight of all the fantastiflc soft panties and looked around and waited to find an opportune moment to casually walk up and browse them. I eyeballed a pair of polyester string bakini style and when the moment was right, i moved in and grabbed a pair in what i hoped would be my size.

    Now having them in my posession, i realized i was going to need pay for them. I was so embarassed but i thought i bet men buy panties for their girlfriends all the time. So i used my old flip phone as a cover and held it to my ear as if pretending to listen to someone on the other end so i could avoid talking to the woman behind the register. She rang me up without saying anything and i walked out with my first pair of panties.

    Keep in mind that was a long time ago. Times have changed and i have grown much more confident. I now go out shopping sometimes dressed in mens clothes and sometimes dressed in womens clothes. I have even walked into lingere stores in mens clothes and asked for help with bras. You would be surprised these days how accepting and helpful most women are, even usually allowing you to take the bras into the fitting room and try them on.

    Some stores are very accepting and helpful. I would say this though. If you are going to go into a women's clothing store and get helped by someone and try things on, you should at least buy something and not juat spend the afternoon trying stuff on and then leave.

    A good tip i would recommend is feminize youself a bit first before you just waltz into your local torrid, lane bryant, or victorias secret. If you at least appear someone femme from the beginning, people will accept you. Start by going to a goodwill and picking up a purse. Nobody will question it because it could be a gift. Them go to walmart or target or something and get yourself a very feminine covid mask and maybe some hair clips or headband. If you want to go the next step, grab some eye makeup. You should be able to get all that through the self checkout. I might also suggest picking up a cheap pushup bra or two while there as its pretty safe going through self checkout as long as you are getting other things too.

    Once you have those things, put on your bra and give yourself some nice cleavage, put on some eye makeup, your girly mask, and carry your purse. You might not fully pass with just that but at minimum, you are setting the expectation to ladies who work in the womens clothing stores that you are an lgbtq+ person shoppong for herself and not just some creepy guy in there to fondle lingere. The more comfortable you get going to these stores, the easier it becomes and the less that the other women shoppers will pay attention to you.

    I now can go shopping at womens clothing storea wearing womens clothing and i typically get no stares and often complements even. I get treated as a woman and USUALLY get called ma'am instead of sir. Never once have i been denied a fitting room, in fact, often i am asked if i want one. I have no doubt other shoppers know i am not a biologocal female and probably all the employees too but none of them really seem to care and i amd able to mingle among the other ladies looking at clothing of all types with zero problems.

    Why am I telling you all this? Simply because I can see you are wanting to try the safe route of just buying online and trying to play it off like ita your sisters stuff. However, i would encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and actually shop in the stores. People are so much more accepting now plus the expierence is so much better. If you are nervous about checking out, go somewhere with sellf checkouts until you get more comfortable. I promise, the people working at walmart have seen much more strange things than a boy looking aroung at clothing in the womens section.
     
  4. alwaysforever

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    What everyone else has said so far is decent advice; additionally, a long term option could be learning how to sew your own clothing. Sewing allows altering store-bought garments, and making unique items that fit whatever style works for you.