1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Closeted, scared, and new to this forum

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by mellissa, Mar 26, 2020.

  1. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm 19 almost 20 (I put the wrong age in my profile) so they want me to finish university first, but I know that they want me to get married. I think the pressure to get married comes from my friends. I told them that I've never been kissed, and they all say that someday I'll meet the right guy. When I tell them that I don't want to get pregnant they look at me funny and say that when I get a husband, I'll change my mind. I consider adoption, but I don't want to raise a child by myself. I would prefer to be married if I ever adopt.

    Based on my experience, these marriage pressures are harder on biological females. Society expects that everybody with a vagina wants to marry a male and get pregnant.

    If you don't mind me asking when you moved away, where did you go? Did you move to a large city like Cleveland? Or did you stay in Dayton, but leave your parents place?
     
  2. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'll be thirty on the sixth of April, so I get that lol.

    I've never wanted to be anyone's wife. I fel like I'd be a good parent in the abstract, but I never wanted to be a mother. Now I'm really not healthy enough to be a parent, and half of the health stuff is genetic anyway. For whatever reason that doesn't seem to deter my parents desires though, so.

    I had initially moved out of state for college, but then had to move back to Ohio because of trying to get out of a really bad relationship. Then was on my own going to school here until I had to drop out my senior year because my health took a turn for the worse.
     
  3. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,698
    Likes Received:
    3,722
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think either of them are active on EC anymore unfortunately. One was from the US and the other I think from the UK but I could be mistaken.

    I dont think there is a specific area of the forum for lgbt people of faith but if you post a thread asking if there are any others on the forum I am sure that there are.
     
  4. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    This might be super intrusive to ask but here I go: What health issue do you have? I think you have some kind of lung cancer, pulmonary fibrosis, or more. I think that because in your earlier post you said your lungs were getting really bad. You don't have to answer. If my question is intrusive, then I'm so sorry.
     
  5. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thank you so much. That is a great idea. I''l do it.
     
  6. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have a few different things going on. I'd rather not go into it because it would take awhile, and I hate the stupid sympathy response I always end up getting. I hate being treated with kid gloves.
     
  7. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thats okay. I'm sorry for being a bit intrusive.

    I took Silverhalo's advice and started a thread about being LGBT+ and a person of faith.
    What is it like in Dayton? Is it very conservative, liberal, moderate? Are there safe spaces? I see that it is home to the national museum of the U.S Air Force. Have you ever been?
     
  8. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    That sounds like a great idea! Hopefully you find a few folks to bounce ideas off of.

    My family moved to Dayton because my father got a civilian contract with the AF, so I've been to the museum and air show a number of times. I think overall the area is pretty moderate. I couldn't say whether there are safe spaces or support groups or anything, because I would have to sneak out to go to something like that and it's not worth the risk, so I haven't done much research into the subject.
     
  9. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    What are the air shows like? Have you ever been on a plane? I'm afraid of flying.

    Random question: Is your family big? I mean are there many people living with you?
     
  10. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    The air show is usually unbearably hot. It's all out on the tarmac in the middle of summer. I got a fantastic picture of the vapor cone on a fighter jet when it went supersonic one year which was pretty awesome.

    I have two brothers, one is at home currently because he's between jobs. He's moved around a lot though. Other one isn't at home anymore. What about you? Big family?
     
    #50 Corax, Mar 29, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2020
  11. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Sort of. I have 3 brothers. One brother is 7 years older than me, the second is 5 years older than me, and the third brother is a year younger than me. We had a dog, but he passed away this summer. He was a black lab that we had for 13 years. That reminds me, could you give ,me the summary of all your pets. I remember you saying that you had a dog a horse, and 2 geckos. Is that all or is there more?
     
  12. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm sorry you lost your lab. It's always hard losing a pet.

    The family has three dogs total, the horse is mine, yes, and I actually have five geckos at the moment, not counting incubating eggs.
     
  13. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Wow that is a lot of pets. How many eggs are there? What "race" are the dogs, horse, and geckos?

    More random questions: Favorite movie? Favorite color? Favorite place? What is the most artistic thing you have done? Send a picture, if that's possible on this site.
    My Answers to the question above
    Titanic, Red, The park close to my house, I drew a portrait of Lady Gaga's Born This Way album cover. Since I'm very bad at art, that was a huge milestone for me. Usually when I have to draw a person, it barely looks human. LOL
     
  14. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Wow, um. That's a lot of questions.
    Well. There are only three eggs currently. It's the beginning of the season. The dogs' breeds are a Golden Retriever, a northern breed mix, and an Australian Shepherd. The horse is an Appendix Quarter Horse. Geckos don't have breeds. Their species are Rhacodactylus leachianus, Mniarogekko chahoua, and Correlophus ciliatus.
    Probably the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Favorite color purple. I don't have a favorite place. And I'm honestly not sure how to quantify what the most "artistic" thing I've done is...
     
  15. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Lol. That was a lot of randomness on my part. When I get comfortable with people, I get super weird. Not in a creepy way, just socially awkward.
    In elementary school, I was in a Lord Of The Rings play. I played an evil character I forgot which.
    By artistic, I guess I mean something creative that you have done and feel really proud of. You know so many ways of making art that I'm sure you have made multiple masterpieces. I'm really curious of artistic people, because I don't have an ounce of creativity/artistic vision in my body. Maybe a better question would be; what is your favorite piece of art either by you or somebody else?
     
  16. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I was in tech and a puppeteer for a middle school production of the Hobbit lol. Do you remember what your character looked like?

    I'll be honest, I'm definitely my own worst critic. I have a tendency to see what I've finished only as an exercise in improvement. Particularly with drawing/painting. I'm a bit more objective in my prop making, but it is what it is. My favorite piece of art by an actual famous artist is Klimt's Judith I.
     
  17. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I googled the image and it was very intriguing. It looks like a mixture of royalty/grandeur (the gold pieces around her) and seduction/ecstasy (exposed breast and facial expression). I didn't read the story behind it because I like to guess what message the artist is trying to send me.

    What do like in particular about the piece?

    Your mentality towards your art is both admirable and unhealthy. Admirable, because it shows just how dedicated you are to your work. This means that your work is only getting better with time, You are a true perfectionist. Yet, again, it is a bit unhealthy because it seems like you never give yourself the credit you deserve. Given the amount of time you put in teaching yourself, I'm sure your work is amazing.

    I was wearing all black. There were 3-4 other who were dressed the same as me. We were like a team of bad guys I think. Who knows maybe we were good guys who wore black.

    Do you own puppets of your own. If so, what do they look like?
     
  18. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    A lot of Klimt's stuff is like that. I love the opulence. I also love portrayals of women in positions of power in art. As for my art, yeah probably. A lot of it is because I used to have a pretty big art community that I was a part of, and I'm not anymore. So the only feedback I really get is the feedback I give.


    Ohp, you were definitely one of the Nazgûl lol.

    The puppets that we made were actually multiple person puppets of the trolls and the dragon. The dragon was puppeted by (I think) eight people, and was set up kind of like a Chinese dragon. The trolls had one person controlling the arms and one person controlling the face, I don't have my own puppets, no.
     
  19. mellissa

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2020
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I researched the Nazgul and yes that looks exactly like what we were. It was back in 2010 so I had trouble remembering that play. As for your art, I don't know if you would ever be interested in sending me pics. I would love to see what you've done. Don't worry, I'm not a mean art critic. My favorite piece of art is Michelangelo Pieta. I just love the flawless nature of it. In most of his sculptures he made them to look unfinished. He purposefully made imperfections so the sculptures looked realistic. However, Pieta was the only one that he made to look absolutely flawless. I love the calm sadness that Mary has on her face. You expect a mother to show more emotion and be a wreck after her child's death, but he made her to look poise.
     
  20. Corax

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2020
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dayton, Ohio
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'll be the first to admit that Renaissance art isn't something I'm intimately familiar with. What do you mean by inherent flaws (the inclusion or exclusion thereof)? Does Pieta differ from his other depictions of Mary and Jesus in the "perfect" quality?