Closeted, scared, and new to this forum

Welcome to EC Mellissa,

You get to decide who you come out to, and when it is the right time. If some people are not the ones you are comfortable telling (like your brother and conservative family), then pick folks who are comfortable. And being here on Empty Closets helps too, because you can post as your real self without it getting back to anyone you might not be ready to tell.

 

It's okay, honey! You're allowed to come out whenever you feel ready. Personally, only the people on this Forum know my sexuality, and if you wanna tell someone how you feel then it's totally up to you. If you are afraid you'll get hurt, however, make sure you call for help in any immediate danger. Don't sit and let ANYONE, even your family, mistreat you for who you are. Remember to stand up for yourself and speak your mind, even if your voice shakes. <3

 

So, I'll be upfront and say that I'm an atheist. But I grew up, and still live in a very strict Christian home.

The Bible only talks very vaguely about homosexuality a handful of times. And the nuance of those phrases are largely lost in a modern translation and context.

There are a number of other inane, dated concepts that are no longer regarded as sins, because we acknowledge they have no place in modern society. And some of them are mentioned more than homosexuality is. Likewise there are things mentioned in the Bible as being acceptable, even righteous that modern day folks have (rightly) dismissed as barbaric and inhumane.

Cornerstones of modern Christianity are that Jesus died for your sins so that you do not have to punish yourself. God made you in his image and loves you unconditionally. If you accept Jesus into your heart, you're going to heaven, no matter what you've done here on Earth. Forgiveness and compassion are vital, and let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Christians can be assholes. But your relationship is with your God, not with them. You don't have to prove your worth to God. He knows all the ugly bits and all the beautiful bits, and he still loves you. Don't punish yourself for being the person that he loves.

I could talk more on the subject, but I'm on my phone which makes copy/paste and long replies difficult lol.

 

Hey a lot of people struggle to balance religion and sexuality but it can definitely be done. I would definitely discourage you from going to conversion therapy there is really no evidence that it works.

Have you tried looking if there are any LGBT friendly churches near where you are?

 

Conversion therapy is brainwashing at best and torture at worst. It isn't supported by mainstream science, and definitely isn't going to make you feel better about yourself. Hang in there. ❤️

 

Remember, it used to be considered more righteous to have child brides, brides claimed through rape, multiple wives, slave wives, and wives stolen as war prizes than to be in a same sex relationship. I personally think those things are far worse than earnestly loving someone. And the Church kind of breezes over that fact when it lambastes homosexual relationships.

 

Sorry, missed your reply to me. Luckily they didn't think that we were a couple, just that she was a bad influence on me. So I was barred from hanging out with her anymore.

 

It took me quite a while to work up to coming out, it can be really scary. The area you live in is it particularly conservative and homophobic or are there parts which are more accepting?
You will find the strength when the time is right.

 

We can do that lol. I'm not sure where the appropriate place would be. I think there's supposed to be a profile chat or something, but I haven't tried it yet.

 

That is a shame but perhaps there is a way you can start meeting some people outside of your inner circle so that when you do feel like it is the right time to come out you have a support network. Do you have any accepting friends?