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Closeted husbands and the bedroom?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Voyager95, May 31, 2018.

  1. JaimeGaye

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    I can only speak for myself but I have been in a couple fairly long term sex involved relationships with females who knew I am an effeminate gay male and our experience was basically lesbian with both of my female partners taking the butch role in the relationship. From these relationships I realized lesbian women, and perhaps all women, are far more into the emotional satisfaction of a long term relationship than making it a "Thing" dependent on sexual gratification.
    In other words sex and sexual gratification was not the primary goal or reason for either of the relationships I had with women and yet, they lasted.

    It's interesting the words "sexual receptacle" pop up in this thread because I have also been involved in several fairly long term sexual hook-ups (These NEVER turn into full blown relationships, at least for me) with married bisexual men and that is exactly how I came to see these relationships play out. Not only for me but for the guy's wife as well.
    She and I were both pleasure vessels to a sexually driven and somewhat shallow, in my opinion, masculine oriented male.

    I live with the fact that if she was not in an open and knowing relationship with her husband then she, as the married partner, was the victim of her husband's infidelity and I was the catalyst by getting involved with the guy and then remaining involved with him after he told me the truth about himself.

    I know a LOT of Bi guys will think that my assessment is harsh but hear me out as I'm not laying that blanket on every bi guy out there.
    Many, probably most, remain in long term relationships with either a male or female partner and never test the fruit on other trees while in those relationships.

    I never cheated on my girlfriends while I was with them but I cannot say I'm so innocent when it comes to same sex involvements.
    In fact, I cannot honestly say any of my same sex relationships ever involved a truly serious discussion involving a serious decision to remain fully committed to one another over a long term period of time.
    Before anyone points an accusatory finger and states I'm judging all same sex involvements remember what I am saying is based on my personal experiences and not the experiences of every gay person out there in the world.

    Stop to remember there is a preponderance of straight cis guys who do exactly the same to their wives and the women they choose as outside the marriage sexual partners. Cases in reference, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby,and yes, even Trumple Orangeskin.
    Oh, think gay guys are immune? Then think of all the "Open Gay Marriages" are in existence of the 'do what you must when I'm not around just don't bring him home' kind though I must admit I have never been involved with an openly gay man who admitted to me that he was already involved in a committed same sex relationship and my role in life was to be his acting side bi*ch BUT, I had a lot of one or two time hook-ups when I was younger that never went anywhere fast and the subject never had time to come up.
    Sexual Receptacles indeed.

    I salute those men and women who struggle every day with their sexual orientation yet every day go to work, take care of the kids, pay the bills never cheat on their spouses, and quietly suffer to make their marriages work as long as they can and do before the pressure becomes so great they become unglued.
     
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  2. I'm gay

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    Your whole post was wonderfully written. This last paragraph really got to me though because it describes me perfectly - including becoming unglued by the pressure.
     
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  3. JaimeGaye

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    Thank you.
    It was written with all of us in mind.