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Clinically depressed since 2006

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Markness, Nov 16, 2020.

  1. Markness

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    I’ve suffered from clinical depression since 2006 or maybe even slightly earlier near the end of 2005. The root cause was due to how I was approaching adulthood but not having a relationship while nearly every guy at school had a girlfriend. I had spells before where I suffered days of sadness but I would get past them and I still had some hope because apparently God had a “plan” for me.

    I also didn’t know I had Aspergers until after I truly became depressed. When I found out, it was both a relief and a nightmare. I always felt different than other people and wondered why I was constantly suffering from relentless thoughts as well as struggling to fit in but I also read that it persisted into adulthood and many men who are on the spectrum never date, marry, or even have sex. Aside from a short lived relationship back in 2010 and two brief fool arounds, I have been chronically single for most of my adulthood.

    I turned 32 this year and I feel like my time is either running out or maybe it already has and I am just struggling against acceptance? All four of my siblings are married and have children while I haven’t dated in years. Even my cousins who I’ve known since they were babies are either dating or getting married. I am always wondering when my “time” will ever come and if it will happen while I am still young. :frowning2:

    In recent times, I have become curious if I am bisexual but I really want to be with a woman more than with another man. The fact I live in a generally homophobic culture and family doesn’t help things either.
     
    #1 Markness, Nov 16, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2020
  2. Markness

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    I wanted to add that I keep getting the phenomenon called FOMO (Feelings Of Missing Out) due to my social isolation and anxiety. :frowning2:
     
  3. Lucy Marie

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    As a witness to what can happen to someone on the spectrum. Based on my experience:

    are you officially diagnosed? if not, services can be difficult to find.
    have you spoken with your family regarding this?
    do you want those experiences because you want them OR because you feel you should?
    have you tried medication?
    have you tried talk therapy?
    can you get a support animal to help even out feelings?

    I have dealt with this daily for almost twenty six years, I know how it can be. message me if you want to talk more specifically.

    ((momhugs))
     
    gravechild likes this.