Chronic Health, Sexuality and Intersectionality

sugarhiccup.....Hello and a great big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary!

*****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! To a degree, I understand what you are talking about and how you feel. We're all different anyway so I don't think that anyone should be saying "I know exactly how you feel". I've had 22 surgeries in my life. Seven of them have been spinal surgeries. Other than the top two vertebrae, my spine is completely fused...it does not bend at all. That causes some significant mobility issues. I've learned to do my best to deal with it but there are many things that I am unable to do no matter how hard I try. Some are very personal and I have to either use medical assistive devices or have help. The alternative for me would have been a wheelchair for the rest of my life so I accept my limitations and feel fortunate that medical science has allowed me as much freedom as I have. I am also very prone to pneumonia having had it 13 times in the last 10 years. Several times I was hospitalized for lengthy stays because of it. So I have to be very careful of that too. There is no question that health issues can have a negative effect on my emotions as well as being able to meet people and get to know friends, etc. It becomes an effort that can at times be exhausting. At the same time it's important to do one's best to avoid being a "shut-in" anymore than what is absolutely necessary. I have times when I simply just cannot go out to a play or a movie, etc.. There are times when I have to force my self to go...I know I need to and when I do I find that I really do enjoy my self. I'm only speaking about myself...but perhaps what I've experienced is something that may be helpful for you. It's not always easy, in fact at times it's outright impossible. But I have found that there are many times when I think I can't do it...but I really can and and I am so glad when I get myself up and go! "old_big _grin:

Some info on how to navigate EC:
When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum:

*****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership.

*****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message.

.....David

 

Welcome to the EC!

You need to have 10 messages in the forums and then you can start posting on public wall too. For that just need to be active and you can do it in no time.

I can also feel you about the health worries, so hugs your way and sorry that your family don't acknowledge you. This is the best way to probably stay connected, because I have no lgbtqia+ friends outside either and this forum has helped and supported me a lot, so I hope you get all the support you wish as well. If you ever wish to talk then you can also send PM to any staff member what is the little envelope icon in the right corner and just writing their username with who you wish to talk to.

 

Hello All.....I have to agree with some of this conversation, in that my generation - Baby Boomers - just did not talk about sex period. So for many people whose parents are in my generation or close to it, there is a problem when someone close turns out to be queer. Those parents just don't know how to deal with it. So they often retreat into either total rejection or an effort to completely ignore the uncomfortable situation. It's sad, but unfortunately true. The best hope is that their love for their children will, over time, win out and allow those parents to gradually accept their children, especially if they see them in a happy, committed same-sex relationship. My best advice is to try to keep communication as open as is possible in the hope that recognition and acceptance will eventually happen. I realize that there are times when the rejection can be so intense that keeping communication open is just not possible. Perhaps doing your best to "be the bigger person" and separate yourself from the bad situation as politely as you can is all that you can do. However, if you can do that, then you will not have to carry around the guilt of having intense negative words with your parents the last time you saw them. We all have enough that can pull us down without adding that to the mix. This is my opinion and I really do realize that it's not going to work for everyone! But I can always hope that it will help!
.....David

 

74.....I remember when I had that conversation with my wife. It was very difficult and there were many tears. However, it was the right thing to do and I've never regretted it. I am happy for you! and hope that things will work out for the best.
.....David