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Christmas and family.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by funkmonk, Dec 12, 2008.

  1. funkmonk

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    i was reading these stories last night about gay people haveing problems being themselfs around there family during the christmas hoildays even if there out or not.

    Have any of you ever felt it hard being your self around your family during this time of year when your most likely going to see most of your family even if ur out or not?
     
  2. BitterEdge

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    This is deff the case with me, I pretend like life is going great and have a cherry mood about everything. I feel forced to fit in. I told one of my cousins recently about me, and will do so with my lesbian cousin at Christmas, but still I always think straight or not people feel like they need to impress their family mainly for their parents sake, well at least I do.
     
  3. beckyg

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    I remember going to a family photo event at the park right after my son came out. They were all staring as we drove up. Adam said outloud, "Look at them all staring. They are all thinking here comes the homo!" I just cracked up laughing. Everything was fine after that.
     
  4. tashyyy

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    the family i live with know that im bi
    and we have no problems
    but iv not told my other family
    caus i dont know how they will react
    i may tell some and others i may not
    but im not reely bothered, as im out in school
    and my family is quite open
    if they have a problem, i will know about it
    but im not scared, and wont hide it
    so i will be me :slight_smile:
    im reely excited, i love christmas :grin:
     
  5. xequar

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    For me, Christmas with the family (not my parents, but the big family) is an ordeal. Pretty much since I started college, I started drifting apart from them. I grew up in a rural area where the main economic activity was farming and many people hunt and fish, and my uncles are all into hunting, fishing, sports, and NASCAR. Several of them farm for a living, as well, and are quite conservative and racist. By contrast, I'm a liberal. I don't enjoy sports. I hate hunting and fishing, and I utterly despise NASCAR.

    The drift had been going for awhile, but when I came out, that seemed to seal the deal. Last year, I was on crutches after my accident, so I wound up trying to stay out of the way in a corner with a bottle of vodka. This year was better, although my uncles at one point apparently decided to see just how uncomfortable they could make me by telling racist jokes and throwing the N-bomb around like a football.

    At this point in my life, I can only be myself (I think I used up all my ability to put up a facade when I was in the closet), but given that I'm so different from the rest of the family, it's quite a challenge just to last the evening. Being gay just exaserbates things.
     
  6. TheRoof

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    hmm not really.
    i mean my being gay doesn't take control
    of everything in my life.
    i tend to forget about those kind of problems
    when it's christmas and everyone's gathered...
    if i came out, then that would be a completely different
    story tho, cuz i'll be very self-conscious
     
  7. Lexington

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    I'm out to everybody, and it's never been a problem in my family. My parents have always included my partner, and my brother and his wife (even though they're conservative Christians) have no trouble with us either.

    Lex
     
  8. Apocalypte

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    I really wish I could be comfortably out to my family for Christmas, I'm still not out to them (though I think my sister knows). I just want to be completely honest with them, but I can't seem to make that one little step...
     
  9. Starshine16

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    Before I realized that I was bi I was always happy and cheerful and I never seemed to have a really bad day.That's changed since I realized that I was bi,especially now that I am dealing with the realization that I want to get out of the vloset completely.Now I feel like I have this dark cloud over me and I feel totally different than I did three years ago.Thanksgiving was okay only because I resisted the urge to interrupt a political discussion with my anouncement of being bi.Now that it's Christmastime I am forcing myself to act normal so that no one suspects anything.

    I wish that I could go back to being myself constantly,but that won't happen until I come out and I am not going to do that during the holidays.
     
  10. Greggers

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    This will be my first Christmas thats ive accepted im gay, so i really dont know.

    Recently, it has been for my life :frowning2: i dont think i have stopped fighting myself inside my head this entire week, its been a rough one. By Christmas though it will either pass or get worse, who knows. Im planning to come out to more people before Christmas so that may affect things too. This will be my first year i dont attend the Christmas Eve service as well that could make...problems...
     
  11. Umm it isn't usually a problem with my family. My mom knows I'm not straight and she's really awesome about it. The rest of my family and the people we know wouldn't care enough about it to make it an issue anyway.
     
  12. Bunny

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    Yeah.

    You wouldn't believe how frustrating yet oddly hilarious it is to get girly gifts from relatives on Christmas. Doesn't help that they probably expect me to wear a fancy dress or some garbage. xD

    I don't think it'd be so bad if I were just gay, but it's so uncomfortable being surrounded by people who know, and have always known you as female when you strongly disagree. And many of these people are very religious.
     
  13. summersforecast

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    Christmas or no christmas my family never lets me be myself I feel like my whole life is a lie.
     
  14. cityboy340

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    about half of the family I see at Christmas know...
    but I know they are not happy about it (they are all immigrants from a 3rd world country) so I sadly have to pretend I was turned on by Pam Anderson to make them happy :frowning2:
     
  15. EM68

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    I've been a little anxious when I see my family. Right now I feel I am hiding a big part of my life. I plan to come out to them after New Years. This is the current plan. I have to see how it goes because my dad is in the hospital. If he is not fully recovered by then I may have to wait.
     
  16. J Schuelke

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    Yeah, I'm there. The only family that knows is my mom and she is having a hard time accepting it. As for everyone else, I just don't feel like myself at all too much. When I am with my friends I can be me, and I don't have to worry if I let something slip about a hot guy that I saw earlier or something. That and I hate thinking of answers for the "So do you have a girlfriend yet" questions, I am running out of ideas.
     
  17. Markio

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    My mom said something about a movie she's interested in seeing. I remarked that Milk looks interesting because Sean Penn is notable for playing odd roles, like in I Am Sam, or that movie where he's in prison. My mom said right away that she didn't want to see it. *sigh*
     
  18. Emberstone

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    There was a tense moment this year. I was out to everyone in the room but two people; My grandma, who my parents are worried wont be accepting, and my Neice, who is only two weeks old, and she doesnt understand what Gay is, let alone why people keep picking her up and cuddling her.

    I was holding Avery and I basically made a very truthful comment of "I want one," as I rocked her back and forth, and she didnt realise gumming my shirt one help cause I am a guy and don't lactate.

    my grandma basically said "well then, you need to go out and find yourself a girl."

    Everyone fell silent and glanced at each other. She doesnt know about my sexuality, though I wouldnt be shocked if the thought had crossed her mind once or twice.