Chickening out

Dammit. Iwas just shooting the breeze too long, and he got off the phone to get ready to go to the gym. Grr. I am now pondering texting later....

 

I told my brother!!! And he didn't panic!!! Yay!!!

What worked... I texted him, "I keep meaning to ask you something and then not. Maybe call me back on your way home from the gym?" So then he called me, and the intention of the call was for me to ask this thing, so he gave me space to ask it instead of filling the silence with information about Clash of Clans or Bret Hart. I was all like, "So, does our family already kind of know or guess that I'm not straight, or is that kind of a surprise?" Which gave him a couple of scripted responses. He chose, "I guess that would be a surprise." It was awkward, and he had to take a couple of other calls, so I thought that was it. But, then he called me back. And we had phone problems like 3 times (I think my dangly cthulu earrings were pressing a button) and he kept calling me back. We wound up talking about my war attack on Clash of Clans, which is a very normal conversation for us. And we got off the phone when he got home. So, I feel like my guts are in knots, mostly because Ifeel like Ineed to call my parents now. But, really, if I would like to wait, I think it will be fine. I think maybe I want to fix dinner, do this video game thing with my brother, find an alcoholic beverage that doesn't make me want to puke, and then call dad?

 

Ohemgee! So good, and I am crying so hard! Trying to keep breathing!

I talked to my dad and then to my mom. They both were good! My mom was being a person!!! She was being, like, a mom!! Like, she still said a couple of obligatoy churchy things, but even my emotionally explosive mom was ok! And they both said that they love me, and that I'm the same but just they know more, and that they hope I can find someone who makes me happy. Mom seemed as much concerned about the dangers of internet dating as she did the dangers of hellfire, so..... Ohemgee that went so much better than I thought it would!!! Totally going to order my coming out rewards! Totally going to make cookies and stuff for coming out care packages. Ohemgee, I feel so relieved. Also exhausted. Mom was doing the thing where she remembered things and put the peices together. She remembered when I was a freshman in college and turned down my friend Mark for the ROTC formal, getting really agitated and making up tons of excuses about why Icouldn't go. Ididn't even remember that. (Worked out for everyone, as Mark took the girl who would later be his wife.)

Ohemgee, I can breathe. It will be ok.

 

Oh, Morgana. My earrings came from DragonCon where lots of sellers had earrings made with the same charms, and they look fairly common on Etsy, too, often for cheap. Mine are this charm, but with an extra bead for a tiny bit of color. https://www.etsy.com/listing/186898558/antique-silver-octopus-dangle-earrings