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Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by staticinmyattic, Jun 29, 2022.

  1. staticinmyattic

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2021
    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    149
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Mental state: My mental “depression voice” (male, angry, deeply hateful) is on the ropes. Rather than passively surrendering my mental landscape to depression, I’m actively thinking as “myself” (female, patient, compassionate). The result is I’m no longer burying my gender dysphoria under a mountain of self loathing. It makes functioning much easier, but I’m constantly accompanied by a deep discomfort that I can’t rationalize away. I guess this is what dysphasia is like.

    Therapy: Working on it. Ran up a big bill and had to stop. Paying that bill next week and resuming sessions.

    I am constantly checking Reddit’s trans timelines page. It’s the same emotional loop each time: I mentally high five all those glorious people like they’re running a marathon, enjoy the good vibes, and then get really sad that I’m not out there running too.