So my middle name is was given to me because of my late great grandmother. The problem is, I'm not a girl, and I've been wanting to change both of my given names. But thinking about why I have that middle name, it makes me feel like I'm going something wrong. I considered using a masculine version of the name, but I don't know if that will be the same thing. I also considered taking my great grandfather's name, but it also feels like the reason above. I don't know if it needs to be changed. I won't hear it used nearly as much as I will hear my first name used, but I don't like looking at a school form, bank notice or my passport and seeing that name on there. Besides, it would stick out like a sore thumb against my first name. ALSO, I am unsure how my family would react. Changing a name that was used by a deceased family member... if this decision makes someone who barely knew her feel wrong, what would her children or grandchildren feel of this decision? Sorry about the rant, but I'm just unsure how I should handle this.
I think that if a person wants to change their name it should be no ones business but their own. If a totally different name unrelated to anyone in your family is what feels right for you then that is what you should use. IMO if other people do not like who we say we are they can lump it. However, my step-father who is cis male and never considered anything else had the middle name of Marie. You could leave your middle name as it is and just tell people that it was in honor of an ancestor. You could also just use the masculinized version of it and still honor your ancestor without feeling that the gender of your name does not match who you are.
This may be of no help for you what so ever but President Biden's middle name is Robinette when asked about it he answered: "It’s my grandmother Biden’s maiden name. It’s French. And it goes back a long, long way. Allegedly the Robinettes came over with Lafayette and never went home." If it has its history for you then stuff anyone else who might look at it with their judgey little eyes.
