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Changes

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by DreamerAsh, Jul 12, 2018.

  1. DreamerAsh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2018
    Messages:
    206
    Likes Received:
    95
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Today I began to get rid of all the girly crap I've accumulated in my closet and jewelry box in an attempt to be accepted into society. I'm trans. A man. When I was smart enough to realize it I let people talk me into all these things I never cared about. After a while you just used to doing all these things, ya know? You begin to accept them as normal. When you were indifferent to them to start with. But, when you find out who you really are and learn the words to tell everybody else. You suddenly realize you've been doing it all wrong. This is me making it right.

    For starters I've decided despite having pierced ears my whole life I don't wanna be the kind of guy with pierced ears. I don't wanna be the guy who wears lipstick, or makeup. The kind of guy who paints his nails. I don't wanna be the kind of guy who wears dangly earrings, or diamond bracelets. Don't get me wrong I don't mind, if my boyfriend does all that. In fact, I find a man who does all that, to be sexy and quite attractive. But, when it comes to me, it doesn't interest me. I'm not stereotyping myself at all. If, one day I decide hey, I wanna wear a bow. Well good for me. But, I'm not gonna have a collection of bows in my dresser drawer. That just isn't me. It used to terrify me trying to go full masculine gender expression. Now? I find it exhilarating and honestly..yeah I find it normal. Most of all, I feel confident, and that's what matters. I won't lie and say I'm not nostalgic and a bit sad, because I am. This, "girl" has been a part of me for a long time. But, she..isn't me anymore. So, say hello to the new me. Hello everybody it's me Ashton and I'm a male.

    This is the small changes I'm going to make to be the kind of man that I want to be.

    Firstly, I'm letting my ears close up so no earrings.

    The only jewelry in my closer is now, watches, leather, band bracelets, band necklaces, chokers, rubber bracelets, a few exotic bracelets from special cultures and seashell bracelets. Other than that everything must go. No dresses, skirts, lacey tops, girly cuts, shorty shorts, leggings. I think I'll keep the perfume though. Lastly no bows, makeup, nail polish, etc. And that's everything that has to go, including the heels.

    Here's the new me.

    As for some personal life changes. I'm not going to make things as physical as I used to in my relationships. I'm gonna give love a chance again. I'm looking for a real relationship one where abstinence before marriage is practiced. I wanna adopt a son someday. I'm going to get reduction surgery and bind, so I can pass when I'm 19. I'm going to remove my uterus and ovaries and I'm going to start testosterone when I am also 19 and out of highschool. After that will be bottom and top surgery. But, until then everybody will know me as male I'm sorta going to live stealth except, with those special people who just deserve to know. And one day once all the surgeries are complete. I'll be a full man, but no less of a man than the man I am right now. Because I am and always have been male. Surgery is just for the people outside, but on the inside. I know who I am.
     
  2. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,688
    Likes Received:
    730
    Location:
    Northern California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's awesome to hear that you're taking these steps. I hope that these changes help to make you feel more complete. You deserve to be happy. And you're an amazing, strong guy Ashton.
     
    DreamerAsh likes this.