So I'm currently at university, and I'm running into a problem that I've never had before. Well, at least not like this. I can't make any friends. None. It's the fourth week of classes now and I still have nothing to do but get on the internet, watch Netflix, or eat a meal with my sister. And here's what's weird: I've joined clubs, I've talked to people, and I've been relatively outgoing. I have a small group communication class and can talk to my whole group without a problem. But we're not "friends," at least no outside of class, and it's obvious that that won't be changing. Even back in middle school and high school, when I was shy and spoke to nobody, I never had this tough of a time! I attended community college before coming to university, and I didn't have much trouble there either. I just don't get it. I'm not a generally "sad" or "depressed" person most of the time, but it's hitting me in waves now. I just don't understand how I can do everything right and still end up like this. I'm so sick of it. Don't know what you guys could really do about it, but I needed someone to talk to
Here are some suggestions from someone who had a LOT of trouble making friends at college. You need to look for groups that have actual recurring activities. Some groups just meet at 4:00 on Thursdays, have a discussion about things that never really happen or the next student activity fair, or they only have one event per semester or something like that. Remember, many students just want activities on their resumes, just like high school. You really need to dig to see what's there. I went back to school as an adult and I was surprised that the college had a group called "Social Club" for students who were having trouble making friends that actually met on a Friday night. That would have been good for me. Also, do not be afraid to go to dorm activities alone. There's nothing wrong with going to movie nights or ice cream socials alone-and you might meet others there who are also alone. Don't know where your school is near, but failing that you can look up activities in the community at large around the university, assuming your university is not out in the middle of nowhere. If you have a car or public transportation you can access these activities. You say on your profile that you're "not out." If your school has a LGBT group, maybe you can change that if you're ready. I'm sure they'll also be accommodating to the level of out that you are comfortable with. No matter what you do, PLEASE listen to me on this. DO NOT get involved with groups or things that are contrary to your personal values just to have "friends." You are at the point where soon there will be fall and Halloween parties happening and all that stuff, please, DO NOT start drinking or doing anything else just to fit in. Quality people are like rare gems, they're hard to find and they're worth looking for longer. I know the loneliness sucks to no end....but please trust me on that.
