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Can't ever get a straight answer

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Tightrope, Apr 25, 2021.

  1. Tightrope

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    I have an acquaintance who would appear very nice and agreeable to most people. The problem is that when asked a simple question, they can't give you a simple answer, nor one that even makes much sense.

    I may get an answer in the form of another question, a senseless non sequitur comment, a minimization, or avoidance of the issue. I have a feeling that, in life, this individual doesn't want to hurt people's feelings or can't face reality.

    I had a troublesome parent who did this. It was exasperating. It has to be passive-aggressive behavior. I don't know why they can't answer simple questions that have nothing personal, important, or provocative about them. It's bringing up bad memories that I've had with a few others who have done the same thing and I'm thinking of walking away from this acquaintance.

    Have you had to deal with this? What do you think?
     
  2. TumblnDice

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    My dad was kind of like that. The worst was when you asked him for directions. His answer would start with something like, "well, there's more than one way..." Five minutes later I'd be all confused. :grinning:
     
  3. BiBoyToy

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    I think it kind of depends to some degree who it is and their relation to you that determines whether or not you should walk away from the acquaintance.

    I have quite a few people in my life like this but they are all family so I haven't severed ties. However, if it got to extreme, I certain would consider it and have in the past.
     
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  4. QuietPeace

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    I would simply stop talking to the person.
     
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  5. sojabohnenfeld

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    What kind of questions?

    I think if someone can't give you a good answer, you can still interpret how they feel. You said they don't want to face reality. To me it sounds like they don't want to lie, but they also don't want to tell the truth. But I'm not sure if this is the problem or not.
     
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  6. Tightrope

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    I think so. There's a lot of anger that's stuffed down under being pleasant all the time.

    I know this person from another forum about hobbies and I know them in real life. I'll ask a question if they've been having this and this happening on the website and with their account. I will get an evasive answer that is useless. I will ask about if they've seen what is going on lately at a business and they will deflect or minimize what I'm noticing and is a fact. They have nothing to gain or lose since it's not their place of business. I don't communicate like this with most people I know.

    When I was having a serious and lengthy problem with insomnia, I told my mom how frustrating it was. Her response was told that so and so's business associate also has insomnia. She deflects and minimizes things.
     
  7. sojabohnenfeld

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    I would say, if most people you know, don't communicate this way... then it is something that this person is doing, not you. In that case, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to just not interact with them as often. But in my opinion it's still important to be careful not to ask someone something they don't want to be asked.
     
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  8. Tightrope

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    It is almost impossible to predict with this person. Very non sequitur style. I have checked out from the situation. It was more of an acquaintance than a friend.
     
  9. BiGemini87

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    That sounds pretty frustrating. Like I'd understand if this person was deflecting from personal questions, or questions that might put them on the spot in some way--but the questions you mentioned don't seem to qualify.

    Are they only frustrating when you ask questions, or just in general conversation? If they're merely an acquaintance, I think it's fair to kind of just...take a step back, with the intention of never really moving in their direction again. If they're interested in maintaining some sort of friendship, let them come to you. If they don't approach you over why you've basically been avoiding them, then it's probably no loss on your end.