Can you "talk yourself" into being/thinking that you are gay?

What's wrong with identifying as bi? You obviously like both genders. Being bi means you are fluid and can go through exclusively gay or straight phases. I have bi friends who live a gay lifestyle. The beauty of the bisexual identity is you can avoid those identity crisis every time you switch. I crush on both genders. Totally fine. To me it sounds like you are bi and you are probably mostly interested in gay with a little heterosexual interest. Nothing wrong with that.

 

It would be extremely uncommon/difficult for a straight person to do that.

 

If you misunderstand yourself easily then sure

 

I can find boys handsome, believe me... but the thought of having sex with a man or kissing one makes me feel sick. And I also have no desire to fall in love with or date a man. That’s how I know I’m a lesbian. If you’re in the same boat you’re probably also gay

 

okay wow... i joined yesterday with the sole purpose of asking this exact question. i'm not as out as you are, but i'm definitely having the same thoughts. i'm planning on making my own thread about my story so i won't spam it in yours... but i can't stop wondering if im "training" myself to be gay because i want to be, not because i am. i have loved women and think about them sexually, but other times i'm like... the thought of that vagina just grossed me out, and the thought of actually sleeping with a woman is scary. there are a lot of complexities to this that i won't get into here because again, im making my own thread about that, so i'll just say that you are NOT alone. we're probably bisexual and just have a hard time not being able to completely commit to one side where life seems easy (which it obviously isn't, unless of course you're straight)

 

I think the thought of a vagina has the potential to scare anyone regardless of their sexuality. For me, I've always been attracted to woman, but when I first accepted myself as gay, the thought of actual sex did scare me. Then as I got older, I became more comfortable with it and desire it. What I mean to say is, sex and genitalia are kinda scary no matter what orientation you are. It could be that you are just not in the right stage of your life for sex that goes that far.

 

that's honestly a good point. i think a lot of the fear comes from me not knowing how to please myself manually (i always use a vibrator because i'm lazy and it's quick but great), so i fear i'll be awful at sleeping with women. i also am just genuinely scared of vaginas, probably for the reason you suggest. i was scared of penis too but then i slept with a man and they aren't scary anymore

 

I think it's normal to feel as you are right now and to question.

It's pretty common to realize or develop a crush after someone makes a comment, because you're suddenly thinking about that person a lot and in a romantic way... which leads to feelings or self awareness that you had feelings. That doesn't make your feelings or crush less legitimate.

You can like a guy a lot, enjoy your time together, and admire him without wanting sex with him. With that said, maybe you're bi but just haven't given yourself a chance to explore that since you had made up your mind that you were gay. Maybe you should date some guys (and girls). Don't look for an "answer" just get some life experiences and notice how you feel.

I think we can pay more attention to what society says we "should be" or what we think we "should be", that we stop to listening to what actually is. So my advice is to get away from influences like Tumblr for awhile and just notice how YOU feel about the world around you.

You know how you lay back and quitely watch the sky and notice shapes in the clouds? It's like that. Just chilling, quitely and observing the sky in a peaceful sort of way. Try taking that approach but with your sexuality.