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Can you sense when a loved one dies miles away?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by illbehere, Jan 14, 2018.

  1. illbehere

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    I have a loved one who is miles of miles away in the military. They weren’t going to be able to call me for three weeks since a week from last Friday. We had been talking every day since we met before that. I was miserable. I missed him so much and pretty much all I could think about was him calling again. When he said goodbye, he said that he might not come back. He has said it at times before and I always knew deep inside that he would come back.

    This past Friday he was able to call me. We both missed each other so much. It was amazing to talk to him. After and when he hung up, I was confident he would make it.

    All of Friday night up to Saturday night, I knew he was going to come back. i was still constantly thinking about him.

    Saturday night, I was doing my homework and suddenly I thought of him. Something told me he wasn’t coming back.

    I don’t know if this is just me missing him or something actually happened. I’m really worried.

    The thing is, due to my relationship with him, I will never have it confirmed. He told me that if I don’t hear from him around Valentine’s Day, “Something happened (to him).”

    Now, the only thing left to do is wait.

    Please let me know if this is possible and if there’s anything to do to cope. Am I overreacting? I’m sorry if I ‘m overreacting. I‘m just really worried.
     
    #1 illbehere, Jan 14, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2018
  2. Niagara

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    I don't think it's possible to sense that personally, and it does sound like you are just really concerned so are thinking of worst case scenarios and over-reacting to it a bit. This happens to most military spouses/siblings/parents etc. and is usually coped with by going to the various support groups where military family members talk about this type of stuff. In most cases the group is led by the spouse of someone with 20+ years of military experience who has been through it all already and can help.

    I don't know what country you are from, but I have rather extensive experience with the United States military and can guarantee you that if you're a family member or wife/girlfriend you would be told one way or another if something happened to him, within about 2-3 days, even if it's just a call from his friend that isn't officially authorized.

    Also, contrary to popular belief, it is actually extremely rare for a person to die in the military these days unless they have specifically chosen a job like Special Forces. There are statistics proving that even during the height of the Iraq war, a military member who was actually actively involved in combat every day, still had a lower chance of death than if they were a normal civilian simply driving to work every day (car crashes).

    The #1 killer of military members by far is automobile accidents, not combat or anything actually related to the military.

    The media tries to sensationalize it for ratings, but in truth, military members are generally quite safe in the grand scheme of things, even when they are deployed. With exception to Special Forces and other unconventional units.

    Your loved one is going to be fine, and it's totally normal that he can't contact you for a few weeks at a time, not something to be concerned about. Training operations in the field frequently leave troops without any electronic communication for weeks at a time, but is a perfectly normal part of military life and not something to be worried over.
     
  3. illbehere

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    Thank you so much. I sort of thought I was overreacting. It was just such a weird experience. Like sort of like when I realized I was bi (I was in the middle of math class and I was thinking about it and the puzzle pieces came together. It was sort of an "aha" moment).

    I am in the U.S. but I wouldn't find out if he passed unless he never talks to me again, (it's a long story). He told me that I'm more likely to die from a car crash than when he is in combat as well.

    I had expected us to not always be able to talk since the beginning. We met after he was deployed and I didn't even think we would still be talking, so to still be in contact is amazing.

    He has also been without contact for longer periods of time before I met him so I sort of consider myself lucky that this will only last for two weeks. At the moment, the longest we've been apart is a week. Although now that we talked on Friday, we aren't supposed to talk for two more weeks.

    Not that this is really an excuse for being worried like this but, he has helped me through so much and I'm worried I'll lose him.

    Thanks again for everything!
     
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