1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Can you be bisexual later on life

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Albawolf, Feb 10, 2020.

  1. Albawolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2020
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hello everybody
    I hope eveyone is well and i need help.

    Throught my young life i have been attracted to men. I love male attention and generally enjoy being around men.
    When i like a guy i would want to know
    them and do my best to know everything about them. I get really hurt when guys reject me and dont recopricare my feelings.

    I have so much love to give

    I never had a boyfriend and a virgin.

    Rescently the sexual arosual i get with men i aslo have this with women. If there is a pretty woman outside i get a small crush like i do with a man

    More and more i am open to dating a woman
    This is kind of scary
    I have not told anymore

    Can you be bisexual later on in life or do have be born one
     
    Tightrope and justme32 like this.
  2. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2,813
    Likes Received:
    1,223
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Your feelings towards women aren’t invalid just because you’ve not felt them before.

    Everyone experiences it differently. It could be that you just haven’t realised or been aware of those feelings before.

    I was oblivious until about 28 years old. I don’t think I “became” gay, I just didn’t notice before.
     
  3. IslandMama

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2019
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    23
    Location:
    Hawaii
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Or, you can certainly be born one and not find out until later! I didn't figure it out till I was 35, and then was wondering why I never saw it for all those years. Also, people do grow and change, and there's nothing wrong with that. Good luck figuring it out.
     
  4. Albawolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2020
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I am 22 and never had a relationship.
    Being a adult virgin for me changes the way you look at relationships and people . That's my experience

    As time goes on I have a strong desire for intimacy. It hurts seeing couples holding hands and kissing as I am being reminded of something I don't have .
    I feel incomplete without a relationship.
    Having depression and constant sucidial thoughts I think a relationship will fix me and give me something to live for .
    Currently I feel like I have nothing to live for
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2,813
    Likes Received:
    1,223
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You need to find happiness in yourself. A relationship will not fix your life. It might enrich it, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you live for. Your happiness is your responsibility, not that of your partner. Have you considered therapy?

    I was single and virgin until around your age. It’s more common than you might think.
     
    #5 LostInDaydreams, Feb 10, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2020
  6. Albawolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2020
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I feel like have nothing live for since graduating university I feel so lost and lonely it is horrible.
    I studied law but don't want to be lawyer . I am unsure of what I want to do . I feel like doors are closing
    I am unemployed loser
    I am overqualified for retails and shop jobs but underqualifed for everything else. I am on universal credit which is embrassing . I feel so guilty
    I thought by now I would be in a relationship.
    I really loved this guy I went to secondary school with but he was more interested another girl . He is still with her and he has cool job in finance. I wanted him to love me and I am angry he never loved me.
    The fact that recently I am becoming ! turned on by women is starting scare me
     
  7. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2,813
    Likes Received:
    1,223
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    The work situation is stressful. I’ve been in a similar place - overqualified and underqualified at the same time. Just keep applying for jobs that interest you and look at options for retraining or going back to education. In some subjects, you can get funding for a second degree. You’re young, you’ve got plenty of time to sort out your career. It's quite common to move between different career paths.

    Everyone progresses differently with regards to first relationships, etc. Try not to beat yourself up over this. It’s not reflective of your attractiveness. Everyone is different. Perhaps you’ve been too hung up on the guy you’ve mentioned to notice anyone else? Perhaps you weren’t really ready before?

    You can’t make people like you in a romantic sense and people can’t help who they’re attracted to. You need to find a way to move past your attraction to that guy and the anger you have about it.

    Thoughts about being attracted to the same sex can be scary at first, but nothing has to change right now and you can move through your thoughts/feelings at your own pace. In the end, you might be really glad you did.
     
    #7 LostInDaydreams, Feb 10, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2020
  8. Albawolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2020
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    It is so weird being attracted to the opposite sex only to discover i am attracted to the same sex as well

    I never met a woman personally who made feel attracted to them . My attraction women started after being turned on seeing women in bikinis on social media sites and sometimes i get small crushes on attractive women i met outside.

    I am not going to do a masters degree

    . Maybe later on in life

    I do like the insurance sector particuarly underwriting

    Thank you so much and have lovely evening
     
  9. BiGemini87

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    338
    Likes Received:
    186
    Location:
    Petawawa, ON
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's more than likely that you always have been, but up until now you just hadn't come across your "type", as it were. I can't say for certain what might have awakened that side of you, as we all go through different experiences and come from different backgrounds, but I will say that there's no rush to figure it out. There's no such thing as "coming out late", and if you still aren't sure whether you're bi or not, that's okay, too!

    It takes a lot of self-reflection, but you'll get there.
     
    justme32 likes this.
  10. Tightrope

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    4,889
    Likes Received:
    178
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It's mix and match. For some, one type of sexuality can ascend and the other can descend. There are no schedules and no answers. It's what you're experiencing and it's unique to you. What others are experiencing is also unique to them.
     
    justme32 likes this.
  11. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2,813
    Likes Received:
    1,223
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I wasn’t necessarily suggesting a Masters...you can get funding for a second undergraduate degree in some subjects, or there’s the apprenticeship route?

    But, you know what you’re interested in...that’s half the battle. I think people often feel that there’s an expectation to have your career planned out by the time you reach 16, but that’s often not the case. People move between jobs too. I went into my degree with no idea of what I wanted to do at the end of it, then got a job in finance, then trained to teach and now I’m doing something else. If you know what you want to do, then research it, find work experience, etc. and see what you can do to make it happen.

    With regards to real-life attractions, I think everyone varies. Some people feel instant attraction, some people need to know people a little first, etc. or it might just come with time. For the first six months that I questioned, I felt gay in theory, so it made sense but didn’t translate to real-life. After those six months, it just sort of clicked. Everyone is different and there’s no rush to find all the answers.
     
    #11 LostInDaydreams, Feb 13, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2020
  12. Albawolf

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2020
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hey lostindaydreams I would like to thank you so much for your lovely and supportive comments on my thread .

    I am putting too much pressure on myself .

    For now I am going to try dating a woman and see how it goes .

    I plan to stay a virgin until I meet the right person

    Thank you so much for everything and your insight\experience
     
    LostInDaydreams likes this.
  13. LostInDaydreams

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2016
    Messages:
    2,813
    Likes Received:
    1,223
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    @Albawolf You are very welcome. :slight_smile:

    That sounds like a good plan. Do what feels right for you.

    You know where we are, if you need us.
     
  14. olderwiser

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2020
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    california
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Being in that "bisexual later in life" bunch, I can honestly say, that Yes you can be bisexual later in life. As to whether you are born that way or not, I can not with any assurance say either one way or the other. Have I always been attracted to men, no, have I developed that attraction, yes. Am I happy with the change, most definitely.