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can u be born straight... then turn gay??

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by jazzyspazzy, Mar 28, 2009.

  1. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    I think when we're younger, like 12 or below, we have crushes, but they're not really sexual things. They're more people who we admire or think are pretty or really cool. And society tells us to have those for people of the opposite sex, so we encourage ourselves to think of it like that. Whereas when we like someone of the same sex, we just view it as a friendship. Then when puberty hits, at 13 or whenever, suddenly we start really noticing people physically and sexually and then we may realise tht we're looking at people of the same sex that way. That might lead to the feeling that you were born straight, now turn gay. Does that make sense?

    That's what happened to me too. When I was younger, I had some crushes on boys. But now I tend to fancy girls. The crushes I had on boys tended to be more hero-worshipping and a desire to be friends than anything else. I also realise that one of my best friends at primary school, who was a girl, I was way more fond of than your average friendship. I was pretty much in puppy love with her. But because she was a girl, I always dismissed that, and firmly saw it as just a friendship.
     
  2. riddlerno1

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    I kinda agree with you but i dont think we are born straight, i think it is encouraged and expected and so therfore when any feelings happen that go against that, it leads to confusion. I had similar experiences wher i thought i fancied girls but really, now looking back it was just an infatuation to make myself fancy them because i thought it was the correct thing to be feeling.
     
  3. I really think I was born straight. I had always liked girls up until last year. I don't know why I turned gay but I definitely think I turned.
     
  4. SexyTimeInTent

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    yh, I think something like this must have happened to most of us, cause I completely agree with what everyone's said, I was conforming to the ideals of society, but have realised that those guys I got involved with I wasn't actually attracted to, I think I realsied this when I spent time with them. but it became more obvious when I found myself 'accidently' looking at girls and having to force myself to look at guys. when I stopped denying it to myself I realised I found myself looking at girls, but still felt the need to do the whole guy and girl thing that had been forced upon me as I grew up. I think it's these crushes on the opposite sex that cause us all the most confusion. which is why, in my opinion, that we seem to get gayer.
     
  5. GlindaRose

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    Yeah...I remember I was like, 12 and I just *said* I had a crush on a guy to try and fit in better. But...I wasn't really crushing on him, he was just a nice guy. When I moved to an all-girls school, that's when I realized the situation was *slightly* different.
     
  6. kramer362

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    I guess I did "turn" gay, but I think it was the onslaught of hormones at puberty probably. Before completing puberty, I remember jerking off to playboys in 6th grade and things like that, and having crushes on girls from 1st grade til probably 7th grade. I knew what being gay was but never really thought much about it or found myself looking at boys. After being introduced to porn (in video form) my attention gradually went to the guys around 9th grade probably.

    Cue the years of confusion and denial from clinging to the fact that I liked girls as a lad!
     
  7. BasketCase

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    I never really liked girls in a sexual sense so I dunno if I agree that you can turn gay.
     
  8. Nugget

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    When I was little, I saw how my sisters would get themselves involved in boy celebrities and fictional characters and I guess I wanted to be like them. One thing I've noticed is that I always used to favor the leading guys as a kid (e.g., Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys, Squall from FFVIII) which is weird 'cause they are definitely not my favorites anymore. And then there was my desperation to like at least ONE male celebrity like my sisters did; one went even so far as to hang up multiple magazine pictures of celeb boys in our room... I still didn't squeal over them.

    I do remember talking about being interested in one boy (and then another in another school) in elementary school... so I don't know. I'm still kinda confused myself.
     
  9. silentsound

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    This is exactly how it happened for me. I had boy crushes from when I was pretty small, but once I had my big realization moment and the hell that followed I first thought I was bi, but over time men started becoming less and less attractive to me. Looking back now I realize that I had some girl crushes growing up that I had always passed off as "I really look up to this person" or "I really want this person to like me" because I typically befriend people older than me. It didn't occur to me for several months after I realized I like women that there actually were things in my past that fell into place with the knowledge that I am gay/ bi. I think a lot of that has to do with the straight pressure-cooker society puts us in from a very early age. And it's not like you can't recognize an attractive member of the same or opposite sex just because you're straight or gay. My best advice would be to not stress and just let things untangle. It's ok not to be sure, just go with what you feel and don't worry about the labels.

    you can pm me any time if you need to talk =D
     
    #29 silentsound, Mar 30, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2009
  10. Jamie G

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    Well, i am no expert, and please feel free to correct me if im wrong, i was always under the impression that Bisexuals, were on a scale, some people prefer one sex to the other, and some like both equally, i could see why this could get confusing.

    I myself had never thought about it until recently and i just sort of said, "uhm, you said no to girls in high school, flirted but nothing serious in it..and you think that guy is fit"... then i just sortof clicked
    But thinking about it now, i have never been sexually attracted to women
     
  11. Lizz K

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    Oh no that's totally normal. That's exactly how I figured it all out. I think it's not so much "being born straight then turning gay," as it is just coming into your own and realizing who you are. You've always been this way, it's just taken you a while to develop that and have it show through. At least that's my theory on it all.
     
  12. MyStIcAl WoNdEr

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    I can relate. I remember I had a kiddie crush on a boy in 3rd grade. After that i just went gaga over girls. it's been like that every since. Everyday I'm gayer!
     
  13. WhiteFox

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    I personally think that you will be gay or straight based on your surroundings as a kid. The reason I say this is jus hypothetically say you took Oh I dont know 10 boys at a very young age.. like babies. If you told them at young age "yes boys are supposed to like boys its normal" and they never got corrected by anyone Im almost willing to bet they would all be gay... thats just what I think anyways. I myself think my dad made me gay because he is very emotional, cries at movies, etc etc. Not saying thats bad but I do think this is why I am the way I am

    Fox
     
  14. Alex19

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    i think its a combo of genes and enviornment. id say that its genes b/c i was surrpunded by ppl who said that i had to like girls, but i never did and im not a rebellious type so its not like im trying to defy ppl. but id say enviornment b/c depending on the ppl you are mostly around, it can get u thinking of who u really do and dont like/find attractive.
     
  15. Jonah 4

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    Well there was a little jealousy in Kindergarten and 2nd grade over a couple girls...whom other kids started spending more time with(taking away my time with them). But at the same time, I always thought differently about guys so I don't think I was ever really turned. That said, sexuality is not a simple thing so its not surprising to me that people experience it differently(maybe even turning). So in the end I just try not to put things into boxes.
     
  16. Just Emily

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    I agree with people's comments on here,
    i was all for boys,
    then noticed some girls, then a few more, until it was every girl
    i don't even look a boys anymore.
    :thumbsup:
     
  17. Ralf

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    i've never had any (sexual) feelings towards girls, and i probably never will have lol!