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Can someone please explain gender and sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Lacie1, Mar 12, 2017.

  1. Lacie1

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    Forgive my ignorance in advance…but the whole gender fluid, bi-gender thing is relatively new to me. This forum is wonderful and in a matter of weeks I've been extremely educated on lots of things I had no clue about. The rule apparently is that gender identify has nothing to do with sexuality. Okay I sort of get that. But I'm still not totally understating it. I'm pretty sure I am gender fluid. (I was assigned male parts at birth btw) I like having sex with both men and women. So if gender identify has nothing to do with sexuality then by definition I should be considered bisexual right? But now throw gender identify in there. I like having sex with women when I feel like a man (and not dressed as a woman). But I'll only want to have sex with men when I feel like a woman (while dressed as a woman). So that's where things get unclear. Depending on the gender I happen to identify with at a given time dictates whether or not I want to have sex with a man or a woman. So with that being said isn't my gender identity I identify with at the time the one in control of sexual decisions and preferences? And if my male self just wants to have sex with women and me female self just wants to have sex with men shouldn't I theoretically be straight? It's a freaking mind bender to me. Would greatly appreciate your feedback guys.
     
  2. Makalaster

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    Gender and Sex are seperate (even though some people disagree with it, but lets just go with it). So if you identify as bisexual and also identify as Genderfluid you would still be bisexual since your Sex doesn't determine your gender. It's all about how you feel at that point. Usually people have one pronoun and stick with it; your pronoun is determined by how it fits you.

    Sexuality is fluid, but it can be static depending on the person. So like with you, if you would say you're bigender and bisexual. Since gender and sex is fluid you can feel varying degrees off attraction to both or either sex and feel varying degrees off gender or both.
     
    #2 Makalaster, Mar 12, 2017
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  3. Lacie1

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    Thanks for your feedback. If I had to label my sexuality with a pronoun then it would be "straight." Because when I have sex with a woman I feel like a man. And when I have sex with a man I feel like a woman. That's kinda crazy though. Example: I'm at a club and someone whom I've never met ask, "Are you straight, gay, or bi?" I answer, "I'm straight…but I enjoy having sex with both men and women depending on my mood." I wonder if they'd walk away from me at that point:slight_smile:
     
  4. Jax12

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    I can see why people feel like sex and gender are two separate things, but I would argue that one is derived from the other; Gender is how masculine or feminine you feel (which is why it's on a spectrum), while your sex is defined by physical parts, such as a penis or vagina. Though, as you may know, sex and gender have been use interchangeably because majority of people know them as the same thing.

    Sexuality is defined as which sex you are attracted to, regardless if there's any bedroom activity or not.

    At the end of the day, since you identify as gender fluid, and are attracted to both males and females, that still sounds like bisexuality or pansexuality (depending on which label feels more right to you). Doesn't matter if you feel like a man or a woman at that moment, you still like both, no?

    If someone likes having sex with both males and females, regardless of their sex and gender identity, that automatically suggests bisexuality/pansexuality (if labels are necessary).
     
  5. Ljjgreat2017

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    Gender is a matter of your biological makeup. It has a lot to do with certain attributes, such as the way that an individual talks, walks, or behaves. Gender identity is any identity for a transgender, intersex, or any other identity that isn't completely male or female.

    Sexuality (or sexual orientation) is a matter of who you're attracted to. There are at least three sexual orientations, of not more. There is: heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality. But questioning can also be a possible sexual orientation, although it indicates that the individual is unsure of their sexual orientation. Whatever works for any individual is good in my opinion.
     
  6. rainyday

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    Sex generally refers to the physical biological makeup of a person(the term sex and it's qualifications are social constructs). Gender is something separate, it's the rolls, feelings, attitudes, behaviors, and identities that are constructed by the society (and imposed on people) or/and by individuals. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo7o2LYATDc
     
  7. Cadi04

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    Idk. I been attracted to some people that I would never want to be with. For me you are what you label yourself, regardless of what others think you are. If you think you are straight after making out with male/female then that is what you are most likely. some people just try things out. does not mean anything though.

    Same goes with gender. Can't point to a female and say he/she is a boy just because he/she wears boys clothes or acts more like a boy. It's what you feel you are. Though some will say otherwise and say stuff like. Cant fool a doctor if your male or female. or if you have penis or vagina. or how you look such as female shape.

    A lot are born without or both genitals.They tried to even do experiments back in the day. Tell a girl to be a boy because that what they labeled them as. and they didn't comply to it in the end. They were what they felt they were regardless of what they been told they are. So its a touchy subject. People still trying to figure this out.
     
    #7 Cadi04, Mar 15, 2017
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