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Can someone help me

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by YeetWheat, Sep 5, 2018.

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  1. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    That's great. Opening up to someone is often very helpful.
     
    #21 Love4Ever, Sep 10, 2018
  2. thinkreal93

    thinkreal93
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    YeetWheat, you seem like you're obsessing with intrusive thoughts. Don't worry about the sexuality part. Just go see a therapist You'll be very glad if you did, I promise.
     
    #22 thinkreal93, Sep 10, 2018
  3. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    Obsessing about my sexuality is all I know what to do I keep getting gay thoughts against my will I don’t want them in my mind and for the past week there’s this who I thought seemed like a cool guy and I want to be friends with but then I start worrying do I have a crush on him and stuff and even looked up that some gay people when they got older thought that their crushes when they were little we’re just them wanting to be really good friends with that person.i thought I did have a crush on him so I thought about him romantically and I have zero desire to be romantic with him and I’m not sexually attracted to guys but then I worried what if I’m just pushing away my crush or repressing.any gay people here do you know you are repressing your feelings?cause for me I don’t know if I am repressing my feelings but my mind tells me I do
     
    #23 YeetWheat, Sep 10, 2018
  4. thinkreal93

    thinkreal93
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    I had OCD when I was 12 and kept having these obsessions that kept on coming back. I had to check the door multiple times in fear of a robbery, I would check the stoves if there switched off or not in fear of an explosion, etc etc. Only after about 2 years, I went to a professional therapist, and I'm so much better now. The obsessions are totally gone. I even had HOCD where I obsessed about being straight (and I didn'twwant to be straight) You have a similar pattern of intrusive thoughts that you obsess over.
    Go to a professional therapist. I promise you you'll get rid of it.
     
    #24 thinkreal93, Sep 11, 2018
  5. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    Also shouldn’t I worry about my sexuality?i think if I can just be sure that I’m straight these thoughts will 100% go away but yet my mind won’t let me just be completely sure I’m straight
     
    #25 YeetWheat, Sep 11, 2018
  6. Nickw

    Nickw
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    There's a difference between "consideration and self awareness" and "obsession and worry".

    I design buildings for a living. Sometimes I start obsessing over some detail or aspect of the construction. I never find an answer when I get into that mindset of questioning and worrying over it. I set it aside and just try and not worry it out. The problem is still there but when my head is clearer, if I am open to it, the answer finds itself.

    What happens is that the worry develops its own life and that causes anxiety and the anxiety skews your perspective.

    CHILL! Your sexuality will find you. Were you able to get an appointment with a therapist?
     
    #26 Nickw, Sep 11, 2018
  7. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    No I don’t think I can cause 1.im scared a therapist is gonna just think I’m gay or bi it’s like I know I’m straight but I don’t know for sure 2.i don’t want to tell my parents that I worry about my sexuality and need to see a therapist 3.im not sure how a therapist can help me like I’m just someone who is confused but I’m not sure why the thought is in my head 24/7 when y’all were confused did you obsess about it literally for every second you were awake? and would you test yourself like I looked up gay porn and I felt no arousal but then I had to look at it again the next day to make sure I don’t get aroused by guys just so I can calm down my thoughts and anxiety I mean I’m not scared about coming out I just want to live a heterosexual lifestyle but I don’t care if someone judges me
     
    #27 YeetWheat, Sep 11, 2018
  8. Nickw

    Nickw
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    You don't need to tell your parents what is causing your anxiety. Just that you are anxious and worried all the time. Does your school have a counselor?

    Therapists are trained not to judge. They won't just label you and kick you out. They will help you control the anxiety.

    Yes. I obsessed about my sexuality. That's part of why I know it was a bad thing to do. Back in my day, no one was bi or gay that was out and boys, actually, aroused me...a lot. There was no mistaking it. I prayed to make it stop and made deals with God. All sorts of unhealthy stuff.

    I wish I would have seen someone way back just to help me with the panic and anxiety.
     
    #28 Nickw, Sep 12, 2018
  9. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    When I was a Christian I prayed to god to help me get rid of my lust for girls because I saw it as sinful to lust after another girl so any fantasy of a girl I would get it out of my head as soon as possible but when I gave into the desire to fantasy about girls I felt ashamed after wards
     
    #29 YeetWheat, Sep 12, 2018
  10. Nickw

    Nickw
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    I was taught the same thing. They forgot to mention boys though. So, I wasn't sure that was a sin. I would think about boys to keep from thinking about girls...

    See. This stuff can really mess with you. I didn't have anyone to talk to when I was your age so I was pretty messed up. I know what can happen if you try and figure everything out in your head. It just doesn't work and it takes a long time to get back on track.

    That's why I keep on this thing where I suggest a therapist for you. I went through a lot of rough times I think I could have avoided if only it was available back when I was young.
     
    #30 Nickw, Sep 12, 2018
  11. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    Looking back what you said I think I did obsess about things like when I was little I obsess for a couple of hours if a staple was stuck in my body (for some dum reason) and I also worried that what if I was born a girl but my parents changed my gender (which I thought was kind of dum) but what made me worry was some feminine features I have like now I have to make sure my I can see an Adam apple and I try to see if I look “manly” but the worst thing was I was playing on my 3ds and i was playing a game where I had to take a pic of myself and when I took the pic it identified me as a female then I started worrying and so I had to keep going to back and I tried multiple times for it to identify me as a male and then when it finally did identify me as a male I felt calmer and recently I was thinking about the girl I had feelings for and I started getting intrusive thoughts of me dating her but I was a girl and those made me distressed.i also obsess about if I was a racist but it only lasted a couple of hours and I had to make sure I wasn’t a racist cause I was watching a video of where it was racist people hurting other people because of their race and I started getting mad at the racist then I started worrying (not sure why either)but nothing has every been this bad as me obsess about my sexual orientation this has been the most distressing and the longest one ever also I don’t know if this count but I think I just have a fear of heights but I was going up stairs to a water slide and I kept getting intrusive thoughts of me jumping off so I held onto the bar as hard as possible and also kept getting intrusive thoughts of someone accidentally pushing me down and me falling to the ground
     
    #31 YeetWheat, Sep 14, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2018
  12. silverhalo

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    I think you need to see a therapist so that they can help you learn other ways to deal with the worries you have. Your mind has found its own way of dealing with it by obsessing and what you need is to reword it a bit to be able to work through things and move on.
     
    #32 silverhalo, Sep 14, 2018
  13. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    I understand this. I deal with obsessive thoughts too though on different subjects. It's not easy.
     
    #33 Love4Ever, Sep 15, 2018
  14. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    What is hocd?and why do you fear turning straight?i have a fear that I’m gay or turning gay like I believe I’m straight I’ve never had sexual or romantic feelings for another guy and I thought of gay sex and it doesn’t arouse me at all I actually really dislike thinking about it because it doesn’t do anything for me it doesn’t excite me as much as women (sorry about this weird stuff too) but gay porn did nothing for me either it didn’t arouse me at all but I kept getting thoughts and worries that I’m gay thoughts like “am I just repressing it all” I also worried if I was in denial as well one time I was in English class and Ellen (the tv show girl) she was talking on a college speech about how gay teens were emailing her saying that they were going to kill themselves until Ellen came out as lesbian and motivated them to come out as well and then I started worrying because I was getting ready to kill myself (I didn’t have any attempts but suicide was going to be my next option)because I literally couldn’t get a break from these thoughts like I’ll get about 5 minutes if I’m lucky
     
    #34 YeetWheat, Sep 19, 2018
  15. thinkreal93

    thinkreal93
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    HOCD = Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Basically the person keeps on getting thoughts that they're actually gay, and repeatedly compulsively try to disprove it to themselves (by looking at porn for example) to remove the anxiety But it keeps on coming back, and the person keeps on repeating the compulsions. So I had reverse of this or heterosexual ocd.

    I had fear of being straight because I really like being gay. Isn't it basically the same for you ?

    Google hocd. You might be able to relate. But more importantly, go to a professional therapist !
     
    #35 thinkreal93, Sep 20, 2018
  16. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    Yo I really messed up so me and 2 of my guy friends and one that was a girl (I just met her today)when I saw her I thought she was cute then as were going to go and with them and as we were walking one of the guy friends that knows her said she was a guy let me tell you this she looks 100% like a girl and sounds like one and she super short but guys can also be super short but then she said yeah she/he was and I started worrying it’s like I know she is a girl but I need to be for sure she is a girl so I had to ask her about 20 times that she was a girl (the guy friend was just messing with me and even said she was joking but I’m not sure they are joking and now I’m worried)if it really is a guy then I’m just in denial of my sexuality but if it is a girl then I’ll be calm
     
    #36 YeetWheat, Sep 21, 2018
  17. Nickw

    Nickw
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    Hey. Calm down man! You are getting so worked up over this. Mistaking the sex of someone, or being attracted to someone because you think they are one sex but are the other has nothing to do with your sexuality. There are some incredibly good transvestite actors that can fool almost any straight guy. Being turned on by them is only a mistake and not a verification of your sexuality. So, even if this person is a guy it doesn't mean anything.

    So. One time at halloween, when I was about 21, a friend of mine picked up a girl at a bar. It was a guy. My friend was as straight as can be. Man, we had fun with that for a long time. He truly thought this person was a chick! The guy's girlfriend and her friends made him up big time and he did look like a girl.

    You are getting really freaked man. Have you had a chance to find a therapist to talk to? You need to do this!
     
    #37 Nickw, Sep 21, 2018
  18. YeetWheat

    YeetWheat
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    No I don’t want to tell my parents because I don’t want to tell the therapist everything and then the therapist tell my parents everything else also the girl started messing with me again and now the girl had breast but the guy told me it was a stuffed bra to mess with me and she said she was a girl after all of that but I’m not sure if she is still messing with me she also said she was a biological girl also I looked up the hocd cause I asked someone what it was and I think I have it cause I have lots of the symptoms where I obsess and about my sexuality and I do compulsions where I’d check to make sure I’m straight for example looking up gay porn to make sure I’m not aroused by it
     
    #38 YeetWheat, Sep 21, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2018
  19. Nickw

    Nickw
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    Are you in high school or college? Most all schools have a counselor that you should see. The sooner the better.

    What goes on between you and your therapist is confidential. They will not tell your parents about what your fantasies or obsessions are. My wife is a shrink. She would never disclose the details of a patient to anyone.

    If you are HOCD then there are treatments available that could really help you. Your friends are f**king with you. Guys do that without realizing how hurtful this can be. There is nothing to be ashamed about or embarrassed because you might have a medical condition that causes these obsessions. Just tell your parents that you are very unhappy, depressed, anxious and really need to see someone. Don't tell them details of what the obsessions are...you don't need to.

    Please do this. You are young and the sooner you get treated the better off you will be long term.
     
    #39 Nickw, Sep 22, 2018
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