Hey Everyone, I have a question. Can a persons sexual orientation suddenly change? I have been posting on this site frequently lately because my problem is really starting to hit me hard. Whatever I have (HOCD, confusion, doubt, plethora of emotions) has completely taken over my life. It doesn't help that I have traits of OCD. I have identified as gay for 15 years, but am now experiencing strange emotions. I am not attracted to women (have never gotten an erection as a result of a woman), but find whatever problem I do have to be impacting how I see men as well. For example, I was at the gym tonight. I was in the steam room 2 times throughout my workout. The first time a few girls were in there with me. I was not attracted to them, but very uncomfortable with anxiety being near them. The second time a bunch of hot guys were in there with me. I didn't feel as much attraction to them as I thought I should have, which scares me. Even though they were hot, I had no special feelings from seeing them half naked in front of me. So, is it possible for a gay person to suddenly go straight later in life? I mean really go straight, not just repress their gay feelings. Or is my problem (HOCD, confusion, doubt....) just messing with my head? Thanks, Jonathan
Hey I'm sorry to hear that your anxieties are getting to you. I suffered from a mild version of HOCD a few months ago, so I completely understand. It really sucks. I think an important thing to keep in mind is arousal =/= attraction. And sometimes the anxiety can create feelings similar to arousal. As for your story. So you found yourself attracted to 2 or 3 girls, ok. Well compare that to the number of men you've been attracted to, the percentage is likely going to be heavily weighted towards men. And it's probably not going to interfere with how you identify. And in my experience it's rare to find someone who is 100% gay or straight. I identify as lesbian, or that I like girls, but I've been attracted to a few guys in the past. BUT I know I probably wouldn't be able to maintain a long term relationship with a guy. And hey if I happen to fall for a guy, so be it, love is love. The thought of having too lose my queer identity is scary, sure. Having to tell people my identity shifted yeah, well that'd suck, but hey at least I'd be with a person who I love. Also, what helped me get over my HOCD was trying to figure out the root of my fear. Why was I so afraid of being attracted to men? Why did I feel the need to constantly check if I could see myself in a relationship with a guy, when I knew that scenario never worked out? Why would I need to look at pictures of men and test if I was aroused? Why did I feel the need to post so many questions online? When it got down to it, I was afraid of being wrong, afraid of loosing the people I cared about, and afraid of uncertainty. It took some time after that, but it definitely helped. I'll link a video that I found that I found to be incredibly helpful. He has a really great channel about OCD too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEzwp1sgRfA&list=LLHfMsBCrrrdaqO4JiGHTeLg&index=8 And one last thing I'll point out I don't know if this the same for you, but for me noticing that I was primarily questioning my attraction to men helped me to realize that my stable belief in my attraction to women was substantial evidence that I'm mostly attracted to girls. Anyways I'd look through that guy's channel, he has some really great tips and advice on beating OCD. And I guess if theres any wisdom I can share it's try to calm your mind down when you feel the anxiety. Daydream about a forest or something relaxing, whatever you want, just get your mind off the anxiety. Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, and just let you attractions come naturally. It gets better. (*hug*)
Tardis221B, Thank you for the response and the link. To be honest, I wasn't even attracted to those women. That's the crazy thing. I'm beating myself up with this fear of being straight, yet I'm not attracted to women. I feel anxiety near them, or when thinking of them. This must be related to my OCD! I will check out the YouTube channel that you suggested, and try to just relax. Thanks, Jonathan
