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Can I be transgender and a christian?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AlexJames, Aug 20, 2018.

  1. AlexJames

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    I was so happy this weekend. I felt like i finally understood the real meaning of the religion I grew up with. I grew up going to conservative southern baptist churches. One for most of the time; the pastor was greedy and led by fear and threats, and held ab obvious hatred for gays. My time there is largely what made me turn away from it all. I only ever conformed because i wanted friends, i wanted to fit in, i never really understood it. I always had this idea that if i was good enough, if i was perfect, i'd finally be good enough to be happy.

    But anyways...I just, its really been bugging me. And i know we gotta have some religious people on here, right? I googled it trying to see what i could find and boy was that a mistake. 2/3 were anti-transgender. One clearly stated in big bold letters 'someone can embrace a transgender identity or find their identity in Christ, but not both" and it hurt. Like...night before last i was upset so i rushed to put my binder on and stuff (its hot as hell so i've been not putting it on). I felt more comfortable than ever wearing it. It really helped in the moment. I was sure that yes its okay to be both. But now i'm scared again. I just need an outside opinion. I need to know that i'm not the only one in the whole damn country. Cause with how conservative and religious people can get around here it sure does feel like I am. I mean my family won't accept me i know it but the second mom notices that I have a bible in the lineup of books on my desk she'll want me to go to church with her and start nagging at me to go with her. I just feel like in real life i'll never be accepted. Like you can't be both. Like its wrong or dillusional or something to be both.
     
  2. AlexJames

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    I just lost my whole editted paragraph trying to expand on my thoughts i forgot to add before posting! nwo i'm even more upset, why the fuck?! i thought the limit was 15 mins! geez i said it badly enough first attempt cause i'm upset and hungry cuz dinner dad's making dinner and i wanted help w/ the expanded part too. i'm not tryin to explain it a second time. just...fuck this. nevermind. i did nto even get the optin to copy and paste what i was trying to say so i could paste it here.
     
  3. AlexJames

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    just delete this i'm done nevermind I'M FUCKING DONE. This was a mistake. See this is what happens like on a bimonthly basis as in like twice a month more if shit's going on. I'm unstable as fuck why would anyone wanna put up with or help me irl its no wonder i have nobody irl.
     
  4. Crisalide

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    Hey hello, "unstable" boy :wink:
    I found this:
    https://www.queertheology.com/transgender-christian/
    http://www.transchristians.org/
    https://www.christiantoday.com/article/wwjd-about-transgender-a-trans-christian-responds/119918.htm

    Time ago I also found a (catholic - schismatic) community with a transgender priest. I can't find the site anymore, but it must be somewhere.

    It's very irritating when the things you wrote get deleted on their own, but the second version usually gets out more organized and clear.
     
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  5. e6000

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    !! I am a Christian nonbinary person! It's absolutely difficult because most Christians are not accepting of trans people, and try to use the Bible to defend their bigotry, but you have to keep in mind that everything in the Bible has been written in context, and that everything in it has to be adapted to our current world.

    https://www.gaychurch.org/ This link is primarily for finding a church that accepts people with same gender attraction in your area, but it also links to church web pages and you can research from their whether a church is trans-friendly or not, if you're looking for a new church to attend.
     
  6. AlexJames

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    thanks! yeah i wanna learn about the culture and traditions that are the context of the bible...i feel like that context has been lost with time. i feel like eventually i want to go to church but it would be hard to find a church that accepts trans people. individuals, sure, i know some religious people that accept me online. but a physical church would be harder. and i feel like unless i know a lot and can properly defend my point, i am not ready to go looking for a church.
     
  7. Lacybi

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    I’m Catholic and trans. I have a complicated relationship with religion and it’s only recently that I realised I want to interact with it again. I used to go to mass every week but now I’ve decided to do religion my own way. You don’t have to do anything typical to feel connected to God.
    If it makes you feel any better last year my local priest mentioned diversity and tolerance in gender and sexuality in his homily. He said about how we must follow God’s word which says that everyone has the right to be happy. He finished by saying (quoting the bible somewhere I think) that we must love our neighbours like we love ourselves, like we love Jesus.
    There are religious trans people out there and there are religious people who support trans people out there. Don’t give up
     
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  8. Hanyauku

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    This is a really intriguing question, and one I’ve thought about a lot. I’m very interested in religions, and have studied them extensively, but I’m not religious, and I don’t believe in a god. There are a lot of reasons for this, most of which have nothing to do with my identity, but I would be lying if I said that being trans played no part in my decision to turn away from my pretty religious upbringing. I realized that even if I were to find out beyond a doubt that there was a god, I would have such a hard time worshipping it that I don’t think I would, because it would be very difficult to forgive it for giving me a male body. That might sound weird, but if I have a creator, I’m honestly pretty mad at it for creating me amab. That being said, this is my experience, and I don’t think being Christian and being trans are mutually exclusive. If you’d like to pursue Christianity, and are able to find a belief system within it that lines up with your experience being trans, you can and should. I actually had a lot of very good experiences growing up Catholic, and there are times that I miss parts of it, although I don’t think I’ll ever be religious again. And if I were, it would be an Eastern religion as opposed to a Western one. I hope you find a church community that you can be a part of if you’d like, because it can certainly have a positive impact on your life.
     
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  9. Cinnamon Bunny

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    I honestly see less of a debate being trans and christian (than say gay and christian) since the Bible mentions eunuchs who were a mixed group but generally people of the gay/transgender variety. The first recorded baptism in Acts was a eunuch. I'm not sure where the obession of only two genders started because ancient Jews and Christians didn't seem to have this strict understanding (or fear) of gender. There are some books that address being LGBT and christian. There's one I heard about being trans and Christian but I'd have to go find the name, if you're interested.

    As far as churches go, there are completely open and affirming churches out there. More than you may realize, even if you're in the South. You would not have to defend yourself with those people at those churches. You could go and simply be accepted as is. Churches that are LGBT friendly understand how scary it is going back to a church. They aren't going to give you flack or ask you to prove yourself. Churches often have websites you can check or you could call them. If you are interested in something outside of Christianity, Judaism and Buddhism have accepting communities too.

    If the whole "in person thing" is too overwhelming, there are christian LGBT communities online.

    Concerning family, I get that because that's how my mom is. She would constantly invite me to church when I have no interest in attending a non-affirming church. It's tough, but I got good at saying "no" and eventually she stopped asking. Moreover, I keep any spiritual stuff to myself and had some talks about needing space. I read books on my cell so people dont know what I'm reading. I even attended church without family knowing it. I know about family being nosy and pushy, there are ways to keep your beliefs to yourself.
     
    #9 Cinnamon Bunny, Aug 22, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
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  10. Kodo

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    I grew up in the Southern Baptist faith as well. And my family holds strongly to this sect and values their religion very much. It was precisely because of those narrow views that they disowned me and still deny my transition. Despite that, I truly believe that Christianity has made them loving, sincere people in almost every other area. It is just the question of LGBT people that they have tremendous trouble accepting or even reconciling with their faith. And because of that, my faith was in question for a long time.

    Immediately after being disowned, I did what many LGBT people of religious backgrounds do. I rejected the faith completely. I figured I wanted nothing to do with the wrathful, judgemental preaching of Baptists and their God. I decided I'd solve my problems through drinking, getting high, and sleeping around. That's what was "normal" to do after all. It was obvious to me that my faith and my identity couldn't be reconciled, so why even try. Because my family, whom I love very much, told me many times that it was either / or. Either I repent of my transgender identity or give myself up to an eternity in hell. My father told me that my transition was, in his mind, a form of suicide. Hearing that troubled me deeply. I felt there was no one who could love and accept me in the religious community I had once found a home in.

    But for some reason, I still attended a Christian club at my university. I was very skeptical of everything they taught, and reasoned that if they knew I was trans, they would disown me just as my family had. One day I was visibly depressed and the leader, Dara, asked me what was wrong. There I came out to her. I said, "I'm transgender and because of this my family disowned me. I don't know what I believe anymore, honestly." She didn't judge me. She didn't tell me I was going to hell. All she said was, "God loves you. And you are always welcome here." Later on in that club I let it slip that I was in a gay relationship, anticipating again that I would be rejected. Instead I was met with open and immediate acceptance and warmth by the other members. They didn't even blink.

    I started attending the church Dara went to. After hearing that I would be homeless, the pastor let me stay in a room in their house over the summer. After the summer neared an end, my housing became at risk again. So at the church's bible study one night, I frankly said "I'm looking for a home. I don't have one, I don't have support from my family, I don't know where I'm going to be living while I spend time at college." I didn't say why exactly, and I didn't even think anything would come of that confession. After the study an older gentleman named Roger approached me. He prayed with me and asked God for a miracle: that I would find a home. Minutes later, I guess he decided he would be that miracle and he said he would talk to his wife about taking me in. They had previously been foster parents and had the space in their home to house me. Going out to lunch with the couple, the asked me what my situation was and why my family wouldn't help me. Again I anticipated rejection from this elderly couple, and just came out with it. "I'm transgender. My family disowned me." For some reason that didn't phase them. They said I could live with them, no rent, no questions asked. I would be a part of their family. That is where I live today. Currently I am in therapy and on medication for my bipolar. I am learning to love myself, and see myself the way my heavenly Father sees me: as an amazing, beautiful young man full of potential and made exactly the way I am made for a good reason.

    The reason I tell you all this is because I think it's important to realize that not all Christians are transphobic, homophobic, or judgemental. Several people in the Christian community at my home know I'm trans and they treat me no differently than any other young guy. What faith of mine had been destroyed, is slowly being regained. So what I believe is this. God is real, and He loves you and all LGBT people. He accepts us and designed us this way with a purpose in mind. A common narrative we hear is that God doesn't make mistakes, and I absolutely believe that. I don't know why He decided to make me trans and gay, and to put me in a family who couldn't accept that. I don't know why I had to struggle through years of debilitating mental health problems. But I do know that there are people out there who see the Gospel and Jesus' teachings for what it is. A Gospel of Love. They live as Jesus lived and taught us to: humbly, free of judgement, with open arms and hearts for the marginalized. There are countless stories in the Bible that reaffirm this and Christ was the prime example of how a Christian should live. His heart was always for those who were cast out, abandoned, deemed "freaks" and "unsaveable." So I refuse to believe for one second that He doesn't love and cherish every single LGBT life.

    I could go on for pages about this topic, and you're welcome to message me any time about my experiences and thoughts. But for now I leave you with some of the Bible passages that continue to be of hope to me.

    We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.
    2 Corinthians 4:8-11

    "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
    Jeremiah 29:11-13

    “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
    Matthew 22:36-40

    There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
    Galations 3:28
     
    #10 Kodo, Aug 22, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
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  11. looking for me

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    I am a Christian, I am also Trans. I know Jesus has no problem with that as God made me like I am. I do wish he'd tell me why though.
    I look to this as my rational;
    Galatians 3:28 New International Version (NIV)
    28 There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free,A)' data-cr="#cen-NIV-29131A"> nor is there male and female,B)' data-cr="#cen-NIV-29131B"> for you are all one in Christ Jesus.C)' data-cr="#cen-NIV-29131C">

    but I don't need a rational to be honest, I walk with Christ every day of my life, and He's pretty cool with all of the Fathers children.
    Peace be with you.
     
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  12. AlexJames

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    Thank you so much for this, Alec. Its Alec still, right? This literally made me cry from being happy and relieved and i rarely ever do that. Thank you for sharing your story, it really gave me hope. Hope that when i can go away to school, surely I too will be able to find an accepting community of fellow believers there too.

    Cause i'm afraid that should i get to a point where i'm approved for HRT, i'll have to come out and won't be able to go home anymore. Cause i know mom will kick me out because she's wanted to kick me out over less. And i know my dad won't fight her on anything he never has before. I don't know what he'll think about it to be honest, but he sounded skeptical but accepting but still skeptical about me liking girls. So that's not an ideal place to start from. I don't think he fully believed me tbh. That's been such a big fear of mine, too, to be honest. That i would move away and have to come out and be rejected with nowhere to go, and no support from local Christians. And reading your story and the bible verses has been such a big help. A blessing, honestly. I needed to hear it.

    Thank you so much for replying and for all your words of support! I read all of these at like 5am this morning but was too tired to reply, and now i have a bit of a migraine and can't think much less read and comprehend. I just wanted to say thanks you, because reading all of these has been so helpful. This has been one of my biggest doubts and concerns since converting, but i think i'm finally at a place where i'm starting to be okay with it, at ease with it.

    I wish i could say i'll come back to this and read them over again and reply properly, but don't depend on it lol. I have a terrible memory. Brilliant long term memory, and good with remembering numbers, but the worst short term memory ever. I just really wanted to say thanks for the support. I've had a rough past few days, real dark place. But i'm getting better now. Its looking up. And all of this support and affirmation really helped.
     
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