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Came out to my sister but am I not supposed to mention it again?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Batman, Feb 27, 2020.

  1. Batman

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    Hey, I recently came out to my sister and was hoping to get some help with this, as I'm quite bad at reading situations.

    When I came out to her, she was verbally very sweet and accepting, however when I tried talking about gay stuff (even just mentioning something same-sex related) she interrupted me and changed the subject.

    This happened several more times over the course of the weekend. Got steamrolled every time gay came up. Enough that it doesn't feel like it was a fluke. It's not like I was talking about anything sexual, and even then my sister and I have always talked openly about sex.

    Feel confused as to if it would be tone deaf of me to be openly gay around her.
     
  2. DecentOne

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    Hi Batman,
    Maybe she is still in the early stage of processing this? Or, do you suspect she has ever questioned her own sexual orientation? It doesn’t sound like a rejection of you, just her own internal sorting-out at the moment.
     
  3. BiGemini87

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    Without knowing your sister, it's hard to guess at her reasons--but whatever they might be, this does seem like she's deliberately shutting you down every time you go to talk about it. She might not mean it maliciously, but I'm guessing something about the topic is making her uncomfortable.

    Difficult as it is (because these things can sometimes backfire), maybe try asking her point-blank if the topic makes her uncomfortable, and if it does, why. Try to be as calm as possible, because if it comes off accusatory, she's less likely to open up to you and that will hurt both of you.
     
    #3 BiGemini87, Feb 28, 2020
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2020
    Batman and Rin311 like this.
  4. HM03

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    Sounds like she's uncomfortable by it.

    Honestly, I'd keep bringing something up a couple times a week, especially because she doesn't seem otherwise hostile about it. Week after week until she isn't uncomfortable LOL.

    Me, the gay, was uncomfortable with talking about it for the longest time, even when I was out. The more you talk, the less taboo it becomes and the less uncomfortable it becomes.
     
  5. FuelsMySong

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    My parents are like your sister. I've been out to them for years and they are still in denial. Maybe your sister is in denial too? Perhaps she think it is a phase?