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Came Out as Trans to Parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by lgbtqenjolras, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. lgbtqenjolras

    Regular Member

    Apr 24, 2014
    Likes Received:
    so..... I did it!

    I’m 17, and I’m a trans boy. I recently came out to my parents as trans. It didn’t exactly go badly, but it didn’t go as I expected.

    My parents are pretty liberal and have always seemed accepting of the LGBTQ community (they didn’t really care when I told them I was pan), so although I was scared I expected them to accept this part of me too. It didn’t exactly go like that. My dad seemed fine with it, he didn’t say much, but my mom had some... concerns. She told me she needs time to adjust, which I understand, but she also really acted like she didn’t believe me. That’s what hurt. She said I was rushing in to this. When I explained that I had pretty much known for two years, she got mad and said I should have told them.

    This was an interesting take to me, because she had just said I was too young to know.

    She also said I shouldn’t come out to my friends (whoops) and she doesn’t want me to go on t. It’s been about a month now since I told her, and she has tried to listen to me about what clothes I want but she hasn’t tried my pronouns or anything. I understand that she needs time to adjust, but it’s just frustrating when I know she doesn’t believe me. I’ve heard her make little comments and send articles to my dad which make me sure she thinks I’m just confused. What can I do to get her to understand? Should I try to talk to her again? We’ve never been a family who openly expresses our feelings so talking is kind of hard and weird.
  2. PrinceVegeta

    Full Member

    Jan 16, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Landstuhl, Germany
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    Sexual Orientation:
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know that you already know this but she really just need some time because my father went through the same thing with me when I came out to him . He heard me out and he didn’t agree with what I told him but he did say that he loved me and he would continue to love me no matter what . I didn’t let his thought process bother me. it hurt a bit but I wanted to just continue doing what felt right for me and what made me comfortable . Once he started to notice that I was more comfortable with who I was as a transgender person the more he started to ease into it and now he’s a little more comfortable and I think that’s all your mother needs right now is for you to just show her that you are only Being yourself and once she realizes you are comfortable with who you really are she will probably use more into this and will accept it. I wouldn’t say to completely let her completely step all over you either: if she is making you uncomfortable, try to be a little subtle about it and tell her what is bothering you but also don’t try to be too forceful because she just found out about this. I really think he just needs to let all of this sink in and that she just needs to absorb the information she just got
    #2 PrinceVegeta, Jul 5, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2018