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Call out someone who didn’t wish me a happy Bday?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by mlansing, Mar 29, 2022.

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  1. mlansing

    mlansing
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    In general I think it would be very tacky to ask someone why they didn’t wish you a happy Birthday, but my cousin, whom I’m pretty close to, has a birthday a day before mine, and I wished her a happy bday on her day as I always do. Not only did she not reply to my bday wish, but the next day on my bday she did not wish me a happy bday and she posted a couple times that day so I know she was on Facebook (moreover, she posted a long post about how she felt having just turned 28, etc. etc,).

    Tbh, I am feeling kinda hurt that she didn’t wish me a happy Bday, but I’m wondering if it’s something I should bring up or not. I could say something like, “hey, I hope you had a great Bday this year! Tbh I felt a little hurt that I didn’t hear from you on my Bday after I had sent you a Bday wish the day prior. I didn’t want to make any assumptions, so I just wanted to reach out to see if something was up or if maybe it was just a lapse in memory (which is totally understandable :slight_smile:.”

    Is that a tacky thing to write or is it reasonable? I don’t want to hold a grudge about this, but I feel like I might unless I air it out somehow.
     
    #1 mlansing, Mar 29, 2022
  2. mlansing

    mlansing
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    Just for a bit more context my cousin has kind of a self-centered the world revolves around me mentality, so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’m still feeling a certain way about the whole thing :frowning2:
     
    #2 mlansing, Mar 29, 2022
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2022
  3. Chip

    Chip
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    I personally wouldn't find it reasonable to either call someone out, or to be called out. Those sorts of things are things people do out of kindness. It's not obligatory, and when you try to make it so, you sort of ruin the intent behind it.
     
    #3 Chip, Mar 30, 2022
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  4. mlansing

    mlansing
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    Good point. After thinking it through some more I do think it would be a silly thing to bring up. Plus the further away I get from my birthday the less I seem to care about it. I think this may just be a symptom of a larger issue I have with her making everything about her all the time, but that’s probably a matter for a different thread.
     
    #4 mlansing, Mar 30, 2022
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  5. bsg75apollo

    bsg75apollo
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    Honestly, my feelings probably would have gotten hurt and I would probably hold on to it for a while. However, I wouldn't say anything. I'd only mention it, if it came up naturally in the next few days. Otherwise it comes off as petty.
     
    #5 bsg75apollo, Mar 30, 2022
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  6. BiGemini87

    BiGemini87
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    From what you've written thus far, this would seem the case. We often pick the smaller gripes we have with someone over the larger ones, because it's easier to examine them. The deeper you go into larger issues, the more difficult and sometimes painful.

    I'm sorry your cousin didn't wish you a happy birthday, and that she's very self-centred. Unfortunately, there's at least one in every family.

    Perhaps, when you're ready, you will be able to tackle the larger issues and hopefully come to a peaceable understanding with one another.
     
    #6 BiGemini87, Apr 3, 2022
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